My experiences!

Break ke baad

2011-08-02T21:37:00.001+05:30

I'm back from a long long break. In this period, I got married, bought an iPad,moved thrice and so on and so forth.

My tendency to crack sick jokes continues. Try writing 'kasturba Gandhi' in outlook and let the spell checker have it's way. You'll promptly understand what I mean.
Yes I am the sick man they show in the ad for tapedik in doodarshan. And if you had to refer to a dictionary to understand that, you are sicker than I am. I mean, with the amount of rich Hindi literature out there, (just count the number of chacha chowdhury and *astram books in circulation), it's a pity that our English vocabulary is bigger than hindi's.
On that note, if someone has a dense vocabulary, is that a compliment or not?

What I still struggle to understand is this: how can the person who just paid 50% of his last flat's price in black money complain about A Rajas and Kalmadis of this world? Or did I just mistake envy for genuine social concern?

Saw zindagi na milegi dobara the other day and I am still in deep thought. What would I do if I didn't have to work for a living?
It would definitely involve lots of travel, possibly a lot of writing and reading as well. Add to it, a large variety of food.
I seriously think it's a big deal if someone has clarity on this. At various points, my replies have included writing comics, cooking, teaching and travel.

Znmd is no DCH but it is worth a watch nevertheless.

Some experiments ...

2010-06-04T20:12:00.003+05:30

I have tried these thought experiments on two smart people and I am glad with the results.
Of late, I have become a lot more sceptical about God and miracles and so on. When people try to bring any kind of logical semblance to the notion of God, Karma and things like that, I challenge them to a few very simple thought experiments.
Let's start with the assumptions first.
A coin toss is a chance event. Something beyond our control. Purely a chance event means that it is not pre-decided by some divine force, and it is beyond everyone's control, including God.
Suppose I am able to put a gun to your head and toss a coin. If it comes heads, I will shoot you. If it turns out to be tails, I will let you go. Now, who decides whether you get to live or not ? I am a slave of the coin and will do whatever it says. If the outcome is a function of your Karma, then the result of the toss is pre-decided, ain't it? That contradicts the assumption we started with. If it is not a function of Karma, then the single most important turning point in your life is not affected by your Karma. What use is Karma anyway?

If I were to attach no significance to the outcome of the coin toss, you would have no issues saying the coin toss is a random chance event. But as soon as we attach something of life changing consequence to its outcome, that clarity fades away. But the coin toss is still the same process!

My take on the whole subject is this:
I think what we experience in life is a function of chance. And by chance, I mean, the most critical things are beyond our control - also anyone else's, including God. We only work with probabilities, but we can never be sure we can achieve something with 1.infinite zeroes probability.
God exists because our cognition created it and it soothes a lot of people's minds to believe in Him. It gives them an anchor in times of distress. There is absolutely no role of logic in faith.
In fact I suspect there may be a role for evolution to play in this God business. Suppose there were two tribes, one with the notion of God and the other without it. The former would have a lot of beliefs built around God, prohibiting things the elders thought were not good for the community, and forcing the belief that a bad act will result in eventual after effects. The latter would not have this kind of a faith system. The former group is more likely to flourish and survive than the latter. The belief in God system seems to bode well for the community but we should know where logic ends and blind faith begins!
On a similar tone, on the subject of Homoeopathy : this link and this.

Murderers exonerated again

2009-07-14T21:16:00.002+05:30

I would seriously hate turning my blog into a commentary on the social environment in India, but I am aghast at the levels this society is getting to.
TOI HT

Can this get worse?

2009-07-12T21:56:00.003+05:30

The taps are dry and I have spent the whole day out in the sun, so my shirt is far from dry. I am hungry but I am reminded of the long sweaty day whenever I lie against a pillow or on the bed. Even switching on the AC at full speed doesn't help much. I worry about how I will manage to reach office tomorrow without feeling like a crumpled, sweat-drenched shirt.

To add to it, Strato refuses to talk to me. Different people behave remarkably differently to stress situations. Strato just shuts up and stops contact with just about everyone, including me. I tell you, it strikes me like Bush's shock and awe therapy. Suddenly, I have no clue whether she has lost her cell or is sleeping or is not willing to talk. As hours pass, I come to understand that there must be something bothering her. Lots of cajoling ensues. She relents to talk, only on gtalk, and then on her insistence, I decide to let her be alone, hoping that it would calm her down.

All the dishes are lying on the sink, dirty from the last day and half. I had nothing else to eat, so I decided to cook some Maggi. Half way through the process, which is when I the tastemaker into boiling water, I realised that I am short of tastemaker. A potfull of colorless tasteless cooked Maggi now lies on the sink.

So here I am, dirty and hungry and lonely.

As part of damage control, I ordered sandwich from subway and decided to take bath in the half bucket of water that is still there in the bathroom, hoping that the water shortage problem will be solved by tomorrow. Suddenly, life is not all that bad. May be, a new day will come and taps will be flush with water and Strato will talk and the dishes will be clean again.

There are worse things which have happened, but too much gloom is not good for the reader count of this blog.

May you have a better day than I did.

By the way, I watched and enjoyed ICe Age3 today. The good feeling it generated, however, is suddenly lost somewhere in all this gloom and doom situation.

Revelation?

2009-07-11T08:55:00.000+05:30

When the warrior feels lonely
and the battle feels long,
he needs a dose of love
to feel renewed and strong.

But such are quirks of life
and rapid twists of fate,
that no one seems to bother
and life is a long long wait.

He hoped he wouldn't succumb
to the feeling of despair,
he waits and finds all over again
that life isn't really fair ...

A murder is a murder...

2009-07-04T23:33:00.004+05:30

If it is committed by policemen, it is even more heinous.
What has happened in Dehradun is a clear case of murder. If Ranbir was shot dead point blank, he couldn't have been escaping. His call records can easily corroborate or disprove police's claim that he had criminal connections. A lie detector test of the prime witness can clearly establish the manner in which Ranbir was rounded up.
If the government wants to find out the truth, it is not going to be difficult. If this was a fake encounter, the police officers involved directly should be tried for murder and those who tried to brush up the case should be tried for obstruction of justice.
Isn't the police supposed to protect common men?
Is the common man's life of no value ?
This case calls for a speedy trial and a clear and quick justice.
Cold-blooded murder!
ref: TOI HT IBNLIVE etc etc
You might say that I am jumping into conclusions, but hey, the circumstantial evidence against the police's claims are just too strong ! There is a PRIME witness who refutes policemen's claim.

Shekhar Suman says...

2009-07-04T23:18:00.002+05:30

"To maintain your character as a woman is the most difficult task on this earth"...
What shall I say!
[Disclaimers : This has been plucked out of context. But still... He he]

Mango fest and my first sub

2009-06-28T12:07:00.005+05:30

I am enjoying a mango fest at home. Slice to drink, mango for snacks, mango shake for breakfast, mango ice cream for dessert! I'm lovin' it. It is surprising but Slice ads do seem to have enticed me into drinking Slice. And guess what I found - there is a substantial difference in taste between other Mango drinks (incluing Maaza and Frooti) and Slice.

I had my first subway sandwich! Incredible as it sounds, I never tried subway because I never associated healthy sandwich with good taste but I have been proven wrong. The first time I tried a sandwich of that kind was in Germany. There were these shops displaying 'Doner Kebap' - a misspelt version of Doner Kebab(or Kabab, what the heck). Those are not Kebabs as we know them in India, they resemble a big bun partly sliced and filled with shredded chicken and other sandwich stuff. I liked those but they were monstrous - I could never quite eat more than 50-60% of it in one go!

I have finished reading Blink! and I must say I need to go back in time and eat my words. I have liked this book a lot. Some propositions that it makes initially about what it is going to describe and detail made me categorize it as one of those Deepak Chopra genre books but it is far from it.

If I end up with enough enthu, I might write a better description of what this book is about. But I can't wait to start reading The Selfish Gene. It has long been on my reading list, having been inserted there at the recommendation of Kamlesh. He's one fellow you can depend on when you are in need for a book suggestion!

A very interesting (and in the words of Strato - gross) thing happened today. I planned to make egg curry for lunch and in order to avoid any potential disasters, I thought I would look up on the internet to see if there are any special things I must watch out for. Guess what Google Ads displayed (the ad on the right):

Hard at work

2009-06-25T20:01:00.002+05:30

The moment she said those words to me, she knew she was in deep trouble.
A friend asked me this afternoon - "So what are you doing? Hard at work?"
I thought for a moment and thought again.
The answer was no indeed. The company I work for has banned gmail and orkut and facebook and any other website known to help mankind pass their time. You get the drift right? How could I be hard at work when I was working so hard? There was simply no reason. And it wasn't in the morning.
I have this problem. Not the one where you are never hard at work, but something else. I can't help it when people say things filled with innuendo, deliberate or otherwise. For some reason, I am able to see or hear things hardly ever intended. This was one case. There are countless others. Wait till you say something like that to me :P

Discovering TedTalk and wearing a nice t-shirt....

2009-06-20T23:34:00.002+05:30

I can't believe it, but I discovered TedTalk only yesterday. It is fabulous. Thanks FB for leading me to it, and I found a lot of awesome videos. Link 1 , Link 2 and many more.
The video about Sixth sense, from Media Lab at MIT is incredible. This guy, Pranav Mistry, really is a genius. The generous applause he gets at TedTalk seems to be completely deserved, and recognition at such a forum can be a great career booster. Hats off.
A tall, attractive girl today complimented me on my t-shirt. In fact, she did it twice. Got me thinking. Well, if I hadn't been so much in love with Strato (Yes, I finally admit it in my blog), I would have tried to continue the conversation a little longer, and I believe I stood a good chance of making a good friend with her.
No, I am not reading too much into a simple compliment, but her demeanour does seem to indicate that she doesn't think I am as hideous as I sometimes I am. Anyway, ever since the love story with Strato started, I have really lost the enthu to make new friends - beyond a pleasant acquaintance.
At my cha cha class, there are a lot of interesting people. The instructor is a very funny guy who points out our mistakes and corrects them and adds humor to the whole process. The girl instructor is a beautiful lady made all the more attractive by the wonderful way in which she dances. When the two instructors dance, (I don't know if they are a couple or not), it is a sight to behold.
Then there is a girl who has just cleared her Class 12th exam. Considering the rate at which my hair are falling, I am not wrong in thinking of her as a bachchi! Well, she has a very pleasant smile and she dances reasonably well. Then there is the girl who complimented me on my t-shirt. There are others, most noticeably a gentleman, around the age of my dad, who is so well-mannered, I must tell you I am impressed. In simple gestures, he shows a gracious demeanour. If he were younger, he would be popular among the girls!

How time flies by...

2009-06-19T22:13:00.002+05:30

It seems like it was yesterday that I blogged about cha cha classes. It was yesterday that I came back exhausted from my cha cha class. And it was only yesterday that I was celebrating another weekend. Apparently.
I just finished reading 'Weighing the Soul: Scientific Discovery from the Brilliant to the Bizarre'. I loved it. It describes the development of a few puzzling concepts in science which were incredible when first proposed and is a treat for lovers of scientific history.
The one thing I absolutely love in a book is its ability to present itself as a conversation rather than a lecture and invoke some kind of thought process in my head. The two classic examples, and amongst the ones I often use as a benchmark for judging books I read are Organic Chemistry by Boyd and Inorganic Chemistry by J D Lee. These names might force you to label me as a maggu and I hotly dispute that, but let us keep that as a separate thread. These books are benchmarks because these are among the first few books I really loved reading.
Both these books have, in my opinion, set standards that have made me reject a lot of books. Sometimes, serious fiction might not suit the conversational style, but it often has. I loved reading Great Expectations and I still remember the feeling of being told a story when I read it. Then there are novels where you have to read and figure out the story. Almost invariably, I stop halfway through them - if at all I reach there.
I started reading Mother by Maxim Gorky. Serious literature. I picked it up, read the summary and liked two things - it was about a culture I know little about, so reading it would be like exploring a new place and Gorky is a name that has always intrigued me. He is reputed and I had read none of his books. A third of my way through the book, I gave up. It was way too taxing for me.
I have started reading Blink by Malcolm Gladwell. Having read Fooled by Randomness and mildly agreeing with Taleb's argument, I do not find Gladwell's arguments very convincing. He does have a point when he talks about how we like or dislike a book in the first few sentences we read from it. Snap judgements they are. But they are as likely to be right as to be wrong - Halfway through Blink, for instance, I am not enthused to complete it. Definitely not when it competes with sleeping and cha cha for the very little free time I get. Contrast that with 'Weighing the soul' , which I used to read even at midnight out of curiosity.
I am thinking of watching X-Men 4 but I am not sure what to expect. Ladies go there with the allure of Jackman, but whats there in it for men except some fast paced action?

Life's like that.

2009-06-15T21:02:00.003+05:30

Small pleasures, big pains!
I take delight in small accomplishments. A problem had been haunting me for some time. Then, after a brain storming session, I went back to my previous approach, and with slight modifications, I was able to achieve a result close to what I had been wishing for. No money made, in fact, if the proof is in the pudding, I have only gotten to the point of reading up the recipe on the internet. There is much more to be done before it leads to any tangible benefits but I felt happy.
I have also gotten addicted to Cha cha cha. I just love dancing to the tunes, though I am scared of doing it in the presence of anyone other than the people in my dance class. Suddenly, there is some novelty, something new to create excitement in life.
On personal front, I am really trying hard to get things to move. I am determined to not celebrate the new year alone - if you know what I mean !

Too much in the name of show off

2009-06-02T20:35:00.002+05:30

Our social lives are attuned to the custom of showing off. A marriage ceremony is treated as an opportunity to impress the magnitude of affluence on others, even if it results in budgetary cuts over the next few years. Parents save over years (actually decades) to be able to spend on that one occasion. It is fine to spend, but the problem is that a wedding ceremony becomes a circus performance. The bride and groom wait for gruelling hours, standing and smiling, their cheek hurting from having to maintain the grin for extended hours. How encouraging is that?
My own experience of wedding ceremonies (as a friend or close relative) tells me that not many people might want a simple ceremony, but those who do cannot express their desire without risking displeasure of family members. After all, log kya kahenge.
I am full of contradictions. I am socially conscious about minor things such as appearance, but on major issues, I really really think 'log kya kahenge' should be the last bit of concern. Who I am marrying, what career I want to choose for myself, how I should celebrate something - things of such importance shouldn't be decided based on 'log kya kahenge'. I have one life and should I choose to do something in one particular way, I needn't worry about people's perception.
This does not give me the licence to parade naked on the road (who wants to do that anyway!),
but yes, the bounds of social norms are imposed far too stringently in our society than I believe befits a liberal one.
Our society is not liberal, you might say. So what are we doing about it, I ask you!

Sway with Cha cha cha

2009-06-01T22:38:00.004+05:30

I have started learning Cha cha cha. In fact it has been 4 weeks. At a session a week, the pace seems slow, but we have been taught some pretty complicated steps. At my level of initiation, a lot of things seem complicated. But I am trying.
I absolutely love this song :

I really want to go on a trip somewhere. The last time I went on a long trip was in last November. The length of the trip was a meager one week. That is what a working life reduces us to - beasts of burden. I wonder what it must be like to be able to take a month off from work and travel around the world.
With a busy work life and lousy social life, I really have no choice. And when my friends tell me about their lucky travel plans ( one to Bondi beach, another to Brazil! ) I can only say Lucky Basses [The obvious expletive avoided to keep this a paarivarik blog ].
My dream travel destination : Scandinavia. I have been there once, but I can't get enough of it! It is just too beautiful. [ And way too expensive! ]

The skipping of a movie by the Coward Vyom Gupta

2009-05-30T23:14:00.004+05:30

Well, what more can I say?
The movie has a long name and slow pace.More importantly, there was no actress - none till I watched. How long could a single guy in a long distance relationship have waited? I mean, the movie is serious and on any other day, it would have made for a good choice. However, a gripping movie can cripple the gripping power of any other movie for the next few hours and I had just finished watching Frost/Nixon when I started this one.
May be I will complete it some other day.

Frost/Nixon is a fantastic movie. Gripping, serious drama. It is intriguing how a whole movie has been made of a very small (though with over reaching effects) set of incidents. I suppose the small-ness is only in the length of the time over which the incidents are spread. Recommended stuff for history buffs and (Nixon,drama,Michael Sheen) fans. Movie buffs don't need a recommendation anyway - they watch whatever is screened or available on hard drive.

What larks eh?

2009-04-10T19:59:00.002+05:30

This is an expression from a novel I loved. Truly loved. Since I am a fan of Dileep Kumar style tragedies ( I would award Devdas an Oscar if I could!), -(well, so is God, why else would I be writing about all this! ) (- oh I also love writing sub comments inside brackets!), I loved this novel. The other haunting expression from this novel is 'What have I done'.

Without sounding like a boring old widower, I must assert that I am suddenly feeling quite empty. Most of my friends tell me times will turn around and it will all be ok. But this period definitely has proven to me how important some people have become. Not that I had forgotten but still...

I have a long weekend with potentially nothing to do. A few movies on the laptop, probably one in a hall (alone) and sleep - thats how I hope to while away my time. No wonder I reach office pretty early on Monday mornings - I am so bored of spending a lonely weekend!

That was quick...

2009-04-09T21:44:00.002+05:30

My manager said that to me, when I showed him the results of a thing I was working on. It completely made my effort worthwhile. It also made me realise that I am better at what I am doing right now than what I was doing before this. It also made me happy enough to leave office at 7 pm. What precipitated my action, actually, was a frantic phone call from my flatmate. He had kept the house keys at a safe location near the gate and was concerned that someone might have seen him do that.

I had a long conversation with a friend about faith in this world. My opinion turns out to be that when it comes to money, trust is not a central issue. When the stakes are high enough, most, if not all, people will make the transition from the ethical to the not-so-unethical. People shouldn't be naive enough to trust others with their money. I stand by that!

Today's song

Driving is fun...

2009-04-08T22:15:00.002+05:30

I have begun to enjoy my drive to work - it is a cool 15 minutes journey and other than being punctuated by canine corpses, it is rather uneventful. The showers this morning made it a much more breezy affair.

Just this morning, my flat mate commented - "Teri biwi bahut khush rehne wali hai!". That was after I made a quick banana shake in the morning - a concept almost alien to most bachelors my age. I enjoy the process as much as I do the outcome. I wish I could tell Strato and remind her of what she is missing.
Well, every hour reminds me of what I am missing. The amount of time spent on phone has drastically reduced. Some of it has been replaced by anxious thoughts about the future. The remainder is still blank.

Having joined a small firm, I get much lesser holidays. This friday is a holiday for most people but not for me. Anyway, it is better to toil and do something you like than to while away the time doing nothing most of the time and something you hate some of the time.

Celine Dion - I Drove All Night (Video)
Uploaded by sagelion13

A lover of poems

2009-04-07T22:00:00.002+05:30

As it happens, I love poems. And short stories.
I have written a few of both, but that is beside the point.

Just yesterday, I came across this very moving poem (again). It completely moved my cheese:

Grow old along with me!
The best is yet to be,
The last of life, for which the first was made:
Our times are in His hand
Who saith "A whole I planned,
Youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!"
...

[http://www.poeticexpressions.co.uk/POEMS/Grow%20old%20along%20with%20me.htm ]

I am missing Strato, as is to be expected. The only other person I have ever missed more is my housemaid in Mumbai. She once vanished for a full fortnight and the housing society members threatened to evict us because of the foul smell coming from our house. It also explained the dizzy feeling we got whenever we came near the kitchen door - from the other side; to enter the kitchen was a long forgotten ritual by then.

Actually I am missing Strato very much. In a fit of rage, she refuses to speak with me. Anybody who reads this and knows her email id, please do send across a soothing email to her. Anything I say right now is only going to add (rocket wala) fuel to the fire. She is smoking hot, man! (Sounds so weird without the comma, doesn't it?)

I am working at a start-up right now. Everything is closely monitored and I am enjoying my work. I am in office at 9 and leave around 7:30pm. I was hoping they would make me the employee of the year, but then, since there was no cash award, I think it is alright not to get it! Not to forget that I am a fortnight short of the 3 month duration which is a minimum to be assessed. (It just struck me as strange that assessing has got nothing to do with asses. Probably they used asses to assess in ancient times and therein lies the origin of the [species] word).

Kudos to Jarnail Singh. Next I hear he is being signed up by Nike for an ad campaign.

No songs today - mood nahi hai.

What else, another tragedy.

2009-04-06T19:58:00.002+05:30

Another tragedy in the life of Dileep Kumar. What else did he expect?

Still, it is quite surprising. Life seems to have come full circle. A long circle full of joy rides and a big bump at the end. Wait, its not the end - I am still hopeful it will work out. 'Against hope hopen'. One thing that I have indeed understood is that it is very difficult for others to understand your predicament. Sometimes even people you trust seem to not understand that there are deeper issues than what appears at the surface.
Life is complicated and patience isn't that common a virtue. I wish it were.

This might sound cryptic to most people except one. The one who seemed to be the one. I still think the one is the one. But who is to tell the one!

My head is spinning in full circles. Rapid circles.

For the first time in my life, I will allow things to settle down. Hope that everything works out. When I try, it goes in the opposite direction. So I better keep it slow. People who love you will miss you soon, won't they? I hope they will. I sure as heck already do!

There will be blood

2008-12-14T22:56:00.002+05:30

Ref: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0469494/

It is a movie based in USA about how an oil-man (a self-presribed term) finds oil in a village and builds a big business. In doing so, he suffers numerous tragedies, including heart-breaking silence that is created in his relationship with his child. The village dynamics are affected and the effects are unforeseen. The story concludes with the death of a self-professed healer from the village.

This movie is very different from a typical Bollywood movie. It answers no question, raises no social issue, lionises no one and preaches no philosophy. For the interested, however, it offers deep insights and a thought-provoking drama. The hard working business man also becomes a ruthless murderer when someone antagonises him. The doting father disowns his own son and calls him an orphan and other very offensive things.

While oil plays the central role in the story line, the emotion most dominant in the movie is that of revenge. Anyone who is in a position to does so. The healer manipulates the business man when he knows the business cannot be done without church's help. The business man avenges the slight when his business has flourished.

The most touching aspect and the most confounding one is the relationship of this protagonist (if one can call him that) with his son. In the first half, he loves him very much but once the son gets hurt and apparently mentally affected (apart from losing his hearing ability), the father sends him to a hostel. In a moment of remorse, the father calls back his son. In the end, when the son wants to open his own company in Mexico, the father disowns him, calling him an orphan and a competitor.

It seems strange how oil can shape the life of this person. It dominates his thought process, makes him cross swords with numerous people and defines his relationship with his son. Success in an oil field makes him disillusioned about God.

All in all, this is serious drama. Not to be watched when one desires something light.

Recommended for the more pensive mood.

Noises Off and miss communication

2008-10-08T20:09:00.003+05:30

This Sunday I watched Noises Off. Its Rael Padamsee's adaptation of the original play by Michael Frayn.

To tell you the truth, I have only watched 3 plays in Mumbai so far - meaning, in the last 1.5 years. That statistic is a poor representative of my enthusiasm for watching plays. Instead, it exposes the effect the first play had one me. It was aweful. I do not like serious plays unless they are extra ordinary. The first one wasn't.

The other play I saw was Anything But Love. It was amazingly funny and refreshing. Almost an Indianised version of Friends. Only, it was far more contextually relevant and comprehensible.

If ABL was fun, Noises Off was uber fun. Three acts, two breaks, 2.5 hours - the statistics look daunting indeed. The first half of the first act seems to reinforce those doubts. But once the humor sets in, there is no stopping the laughs, chortles and unwitting sounds from people facing inability to control their laughter. It was easily the heartiest laugh I had in a long time. Not that I have been deprived of laughter therapy. With friends like mine, a loud burst of laughter is a common phenomenon. This time it was different. Louder and more difficult to control.

If you get a chance, don't think twice. Watch it. We paid 250 bucks a person and it was absolutely worth it.

In the intervening period, there have been three important birthdays - Strato, sis and coffeemate. I had taken a day off for Strato's, so we had a nice time. On coffeemate's birthday, we went for a midnight buffet to Le Meridien.

Let me tell you something. French is funny. Indians trying to speak French are funnier.

I mean, Le ,prima facie, should sound similar to Bruce Lee. Or Brett Lee. Unfortunately, it is more like the La of Lala. Phew.

On Coffeemate's birthday we went to the dinner buffet at Lala Meridien. And I hogged like a wild boar.

Two rounds of starters, one round of main course, and two rounds of desserts. I could have gone to the dessert table once more, but I had been feeling lonely in my pursuit of food nirvana. Everybody else was eating in minuscule quantities. The food was delicious and at least for me, totally worth it. After this, I only ate at dinner the next day. And still felt full.

Also I had this interesting conversation during break at Noises Off involving me Strato and Godov, a funny friend.

Me to Strato: I want to go to the loo. Come along - lets take a walk. You wait near the coffee stall while I irrigate the land. I mean, relieve myself.

Strato: No. My body clock says I will need to go 42mins 32 second from now. You go with Godov.

Me: Pls/Lets go na.

Strato: No

(repeat a few more times)

Me to Godov (privately): Lets go for some baywatching

Godov to Strato: Look what he's saying. He wants to go ...

Me (creating commotion to drown out Godov's last few words)

Strato: Go with him na

Godov: What?

Me: (laughing loudly albeit silently)

(some more confused conversation between Godov and Strato)

Godov still doesn't believe his ears. Strato still doesn't know whats the issue. I am still smirking.

[ The movie seems to be bakwas. But I like this song. ]

What they say and what they mean

2008-10-01T19:16:00.002+05:30

Oh.we should totally meet up sometime. Lets plan something.
Why don't you spend your time with your trophy wife/gf and leave us alone? May be send the home video production if you care (and if you understand what I mean) - we bachelors won't mind it. Unlike the upholders of our cultural ..er.. culture, we never took offence when hollywood celebrities uploaded their home video productions and made them available for free.

Your voice is good and you sing in a nice tune.
Probably you need to sing in ultrasonic frequencies. That will kill all those bats in our colony. Then the colony children won't play cricket on the street.

No Sweetheart, go and meet your buddy. I have no problems.
I am already picturising you whispering sweet nothings into his ear. He asks you what you are wearing inside and you say - Nothing. You can choose whichever hotel you want - but please don't go to the hotel we went for our honeymoon. They are still looking for the missing paintings on the wall.

I love my job. It is very exciting and challenging. I am not looking around for a change.
I don't have an option. Period. If I had one, I wouldn't be here licking the dirtier end of your alimentary canal. I would be kicking your donkey instead. But since that is not the case, let me file your tax claim, drop your kid off to school and help your wife with household work. Wait. You haven't seen The Graduate, have you?

Sir I would like to tell you about our investment plans. When are you free sir?
Tell me your name and contact details and I will automatically start this plan for you. Oh and your account details as well. Don't care if you don't want this plan. I need it. My bhookha bhai and beemaar maa need it.
I am busy right now. Can you call me later?
Send me your photo. Then we will talk.

TOW we choose easy targets

2008-09-25T19:24:00.003+05:30

There is this lady who sits in my office in the row behind me and whose telephone's decibel levels are exceeded only by white ambassador's 'power horns'. She made a loud (as usual) comment on how MB has set the Indian industrial development back by a few decades. Before you start visualizing factory workers engrossed in sleazy literature (MB) ignoring work at hand, let me warn you. It turns out, the issue is far more serious.
MB here stands out for Mamata di. From Kolkata.
She is the one who is allegedly inciting violence in Tata's Nano plant. She is the one allegedly responsible for the bundling away of the plant and the prevention of many more investment projects from coming to Bengal.
It is a very easy thing to do - see the one person who is the face of the violence and blame her. What people who take up these issues during office lunch hours do not bother to do is to dig deeper and separate the two issues.
Let me ask you:
(i) Do you know how much the affected farmers are being compensated for their land?
(ii) I want to build a factory over your land. The government *forcibly* takes it away from you to give it to me and pays you less than what you expect to be paid. Will you not protest?
(iii) Do you know that the government has the right to take away your land for public purpose? Do you know how wide the net of 'public purpose' has been cast by our lawmakers?

The two issues are - land rights and mob violence. In both of these, the Indian government and the state governments have been errant - giving far too leniency in the latter case while limiting a citizen's rights far too much in the former.

Two related articles:
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601039&sid=a4Iv4YW9ggb0&refer=home
http://ajayshahblog.blogspot.com/2007/03/mystery-of-capital-by-hernando-de-soto.html

My understanding of law in this case is low but clearly the individual's property rights are limited. That is an issue which needs to be tackled as we proceed on our path of industrialization.

Companies will have to improvise on how they compensate landowners. The government needs to make the process more voluntary and transparent. We need to think before we take sides on such serious issues.

If we want to curb violence, we need to listen to the non violent voices of protest. That is the best way to prevent dirty politicians from hijacking genuine socio-economic issues.

TOW I link a lot

2008-09-14T12:33:00.003+05:30

I spent Sunday morning reading articles on the web. There was the usual Lehman drama. Then Ike. And now, there's the news on New Delhi bomb blasts.
Chronology of major bombings in India
How many more blasts will it take for the government to take a more stringent attitude against terrorism? This is not going to help:
Shivraj Patil mouths old statements, old excuses
Sometimes I really really wonder how shameless these people can be. I mean, I can't see any change of tone in his voice. He is saying the same thing he said last time. That the situation is turning more grave with each serial blasts incident does not seem to be having an effect on senile ministers incapable of strong and firm action.
Anti-terror law: NSA backs Gujarat demand
This is just one of the instances where he has simply refused to accept advice coming from several quarters - state governments and police officers included. We can speculate and discuss his reasons but the outcome of his actions is being seen in the way serial blasts recur as the headlines of daily news.

Shame on you Mr Patil.

Shame also on people who are creating a issue of a convicted terrorist's execution.

Ms Mehbooba, and all your supporters, a terrorist is a terrorist is a terrorist. He must be executed. While Arundhati Roy raises several pertinent questions about human rights violations, nothing in her article is a justification for the execution once the guilt has been established. There IS a hurry to punish terrorists, Ms Roy, and that is needed to send a strong signal.

Now I am not saying that the police do not inflict human rights violations. Sure they do. That needs to be enquired and brought to light. But when several courts convict a person of a terror act, it is but natural justice that he be punished.

Google is starting to act like a monopolist
I guess Google doesn't think monopolism is an evil.

Scary, Isn’t She?
Mighty talented and very tall, yes. But scary as well. Lucky for her that she is born in USA where she is at least getting the opportunity to shape her career. In India, the idea of a girl competing in a male dominated sports, or for that matter, considering sports a full career itself would be frowned upon. Such a world we live in.

TOW I try to be funny

2008-09-06T12:31:00.002+05:30

Hmm. I have been to Germany twice, and I thought it was so cold that I really wished I could bath with my sweaters on - for most of the year except June. Contrast that with Mr Kranig:

http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSL343921120080903

In the same country, this happens: http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSL336567920080903

I dread the consequences of skateboarding half that fast on any Indian road - even the expressways these days sport speedbreakers - a misnomer since they should be called carbreakers.

Also noteworthy is this:

http://www.iht.com/articles/2008/09/03/opinion/edconley.php?WT.mc_id=rssmostemailed

This Wednesday, I saw Rock On. And it really does rock. I mean, which was the last Hindi movie I enjoyed so much? Rang De Basanti, Taarey Zameen Par, Dil Chahta hai? In fact, there is an eery commonality in these - Aamir Khan and Farhaan Akhtar.

On personal fronts, life is going through a rough patch. The time when I wrote the last email was a particularly nasty one. Things are cool now, though it is somewhat like sitting on a hot stove after coming out of a furnace.

From Jodha Akbar, beautiful lyrics....

Kaise kahen kya hai sitam
Sochte hai ab yeh hum
Koi kaise kahen woh hai ya nahi humare

Karte to hai saath safar
Faasle hain phir bhi magar
Jaise milte nahi kisi dariya ke do kinare

Pass hain phir bhi paas nahi
Humko yeh gum raas nahi
Seeshe ki ek diware hai jaise darmiya

Sare sehmein nazare hain
Soye soye vaqt ke dhare hain
Aur dil mein koi khoye si baatein hain

TOW life s*cks...

2008-08-29T13:49:00.002+05:30

Have you ever wondered how it feels :

-when you are hanging on the edge of a cliff, your hands slipping fast and your mind unable to comprehend whether the person standing nearby - and the only one who can help - is going to offer a helping hand or just let you go. The infinite uncertainty in the instant when you know that the next moment means life or death, but that the choice is not yours to make, and the one who makes this choice isn't inclined to tell you.

-when you realize that the lottery ticket you tore away last night has won a million dollars today

-when one small action, inconsequential by your standards, ends up as the concluding argument in 20 discussions in a single day

-when you jump into the middle of an empty road at the exact moment when a bus suddenly appears and you realize that the next thing under the bus tire is going to be your head

I think I know how it must feel. It is a complicated situation to narrate. And a one as well.

I am increasingly getting defeated. I think there's something in the design of this life that makes it difficult to achieve a smooth outcome. Especially when you are trying to prove popular wisdom wrong.

I always thought that it was humanly possible to have boundless love for a person. And that love, in its entirety, could solve all problems. The conviction that such a strong emotion would bring should be enough to tackle all problems - isn't it.

Well, I will soon find out.

[http://www.lyrics007.com/Eagles%20Lyrics/Love%20Will%20Keep%20Us%20Alive%20Lyrics.html]

I was standing
All alone against the world outside
You were searching
For a place to hide

Lost and lonely
Now you’ve given me the will to survive
When we’re hungry...love will keep us alive

Don’t you worry
Sometimes you’ve just gotta let it ride
The world is changing
Right before your eyes
Now I’ve found you
There’s no more emptiness inside
When we’re hungry...love will keep us alive

I would die for you
Climb the highest mountain
Baby, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do

I was standing
All alone against the worlk outside
You were searching
For a place to hide
Lost and lonely
Now you’ve given me the will to survive
When we’re hungry...love will keep us alive

[ http://kamjoshworld.blogspot.com/2007/06/kadmoon-taley-hamaare-kuch-zamin-bhi-na_01.html ]
कदमों तले हमारे एक ज़मीन ना थी कभी
आस है एक आसमान की मोहब्बत-ए-खुदा से फिर भी
ज़िंदगी में मोहब्बत की कमी तो ना थी कभी
तरसेगा तेरे प्यार को यह अकेला मन फिर भी
यूँ तो कमी ना थी एक हमसफ़र के आँचल की कभी
तरसेगा तेरे साथ को यह दिल फिर भी कभी
याद करेंगे तन्हाई में बीते लम्हों को जब हम कभी
रो दिया करेंगे चुपके से , बिन आसू कभी कभी...

Behold our moral hypocrisy!

2008-07-26T16:52:00.002+05:30

Why is everyone making such a big controversy about the alleged(till proven) MP bribery scandal? Sample this:

-One doesn't get his pension unless the babu in-charge gets 'the cut'

-To get a passport, you have to bribe the police to clear your background check. Otherwise they will sit on your papers till the end of time

-One cannot set up and register a company without paying a number of babus in several different departments

-One can easily obtain a driver's licence without ever having to give a test by bribing the officials concerned through an agent

-My mother filed for a government loan through her salary account. The loan was sanctioned but the babu refused to sign the documents unless he got a suitable cut.

-There have been several incidents of crimes done by policemen - Matunga scam, several rapes and encounter killings of innocents.

What makes any of these less outrageous than an MP taking a bribe to vote for the government?

I think the statement that sums up the situation quite appropriately is this - People get the government they deserve.

The babu at the government office has no right to criticise the MPs. The police hawildar who routinely accepts 50Rupee notes from erring (and sometimes innocent) citizens has no right to criticise.

If we ourselves can't resist the lure of money, why blame the MPs?

There are several government departments where bribery is the norm. It is justified on the ground that the elite babus need money to sustain a lifestyle that their position entitles them. Think about the logic here. They think they deserve a lifestyle which the government is not providing them. Hence, it is acceptable to take bribe.

This logic effectively portrays them as a victim.

Let us not indulge in blatant moral hypocrisy.

Since this bribery system is so endemic, why not legitimise it?
A pension office be entitled to 1% of the pension disbursed. Let the police officer who fines a person for errant driving pocket the amount.

Let us have a moral system which discourages people from doing things in private that they can't admit in public.

I am aghast at the level of moral hypocrisy we have come to accept.

Either stop taking bribes or stop making such a fuss about those MPs.
Incidentally, I don't think the people are outraged as much as the media is portraying. That could easily be because many of them lack the moral ground to be outraged.

Incidentally again, I don't condone this behaviour of the MPs. At the same time, I have very little hope that anything is going to come out of all this moral outrage drama.

Lord save this country!

My view on Mr Sardesai's chat briefing

2008-07-16T12:50:00.004+05:30

Something to think about :
[ Rajdeep on lessons from Arushi case ]

-------

Mr Sardesai:

There is a stark inconsistency in your statements. You admit 'Arushi murder case is a great story' while at the same time, you also say 'We could exercise more restraint'. What 'restraint'? Give me an instance when you exercised any of it!

I vehemently protest when you suggest that Dr Talwar must be more media-savvy in his appearance - after release from a 50-day prison term? You said -

"Let’s be less hypocritical. Arushi was a big story; Rajesh Talwar's release was a major photo opportunity. A cameraperson and a reporter are working in tough circumstances—they need the story; they need the pictures. Sure, we could handle it better, but for that it’s not just the journalists who need to learn a few lessons. Those who have to handle such situations could also become more media-savvy."

You must be joking Mr Sardesai. You had the time and luxury to prepare for this chat briefing. You didn't have to face the readers and could take the help of others around you in replying. You didn't even have to jostle with the readers surrounding you and forcing their mics inside your mouth.

When you say "Rajesh Talwar's release was a major photo opportunity", do you claim that it gives you the right to shove your mic inside his mouth? That is what your cameraperson did - and many others. To me, the sight was obnoxious. Yes, the camerapersons and reporters work in tough circumstances. Who is to blame for that? Dr Talwar? Isn't it because of the mad rat race between the channels for a 'quick byte'? Isn't it because reporters and camerapersons are expected (may be even required) to get the best photo-ops, other people's convenience and courtesy be damned!

Mr Sardesai, you ask - "Apologise for what?". And now, I will quote your own words in reply. You admit -

"I think at times television news channels need to go beyond the hourly news wheel and step back a bit. We are titillating viewers with morsels of information instead of really informing them."

"My prime responsibility as a journalist is to tell a story. My commitment must be to tell that story as honestly as possible. It’s a commitment we have often failed to respect."

"You make a good point. I think a 24-hour news channel is a bit like a carnivorous beast that needs to be constantly fed. There is a certain limitation of format that forces us to often pass off trivia as news. This is no excuse though for declining standards"

"A father was accused of murdering his daughter, so naturally the media was excited. Where we failed was to understand that the bigger the story, the greater the need to exercise restraint."

"If news is entertainment, then we live in dangerous times. Again, lets not blame the entire media for this. However, those of us in senior positions must take prime responsibility. We have failed to set an example to the next generation of journalists. Moreover, training systems have weakened considerably."

We have a lot of "We failed" statements here. Where is the corresponding "We are sorry"?

Mr Sardesai, you also say -

"I can say with great pride that at CNN-IBN, we never attempted to concoct facts, or do stories without cross checking on the Talwar case. Having said that, I do believe that we could have handled the story with greater sensitivity. I also feel that the answer is not for the media to apologise to the Talwar family, the bigger question is: when the next time an incident like Arushi happens, will our coverage be any different?"

You can be sure that readers will definitely watch out for CNN-IBN's coverage of the next big story. If past precedents are anything to go by, I have very little hope the coverage next time will be any different.

Let me also give you candid feedback about what happens at my house. While sifting through channels, we look at IndiaTV and simply say - What the f***. Invariably, the stories in that channel deserve the response they get. Increasingly, we look at CNN-IBN and say - What the heck? We restrict our exposure to your channel to a few minutes at the most. Your channel is no better than the others.

In my opinion books, Arushi case dealt a final blow to your channel's track record. I no more watch your channel for more than a few minutes at a stretch because the titillating headlines and repeat telecasts have become intolerable.

You have kept the focus on Arushi case and deserve the credit for ensuring the investigations follow through. But you are also to be blamed for making a tabloid scandal out of a murder story and dishing it out to the viewers 24-hours a day.

Finally I ask you - when the next time an incident like Arushi happens, will your coverage be any different?

TOW I miss IITK

2008-07-08T20:46:00.003+05:30

Correct me if I am missing something here, but a company only breaks even once. Isn't it?
REF: (emphasis is mine)
Deccan Odyssey breaks even after five years
Neha Raghunath MUMBAI
Deccan Odyssey, the luxury train, has managed to break even for the first time since its inception five years ago, according to Maharashtra Tourism Development Corporation CEO Jayant Gaikawad.

Finally I have done something worthwhile (or set something worthwhile in motion) in a long, long time. I have signed up for a social service scheme. As it happens, I love to teach. You may disagree strongly if you were one among the majority of students who took the Data Structures course at IITK that I taught. There is a faint chance that you may appreciate my decision.
I still remember reading the course feedback and comments ranged from "The nation needs more teachers like you" to "Please don't teach. EVER". Quite confusing, except that I love to teach which makes my own decision easy to make.
I sometimes wonder why I didn't end up as a professor in some nice university. One reason is that I wanted to earn more than what a typical teaching position at an IIT or IIM affords. Another reason is that there is something I want even more strongly - it will unravel itself in a few years' time I hope and believe.
However, deep inside me, I still relish the campus atmosphere. I loved the lively discussions that happened in the CS101 lecture hall of IITK. I didn't like the discussions at IIMA so much because somehow, they seemed to be motivated more by the incentive of class participation marks.
I was more an observer than an active participant - speaking on the few occasions prodded by the professor, but I thoroughly enjoyed most discussions.
I also remember the time my English professor at IITK made me feel extremely guilty. He was a member of the interview panel which had screened me for a big-name scholarship. Clearly, he held a good opinion of me. However, that opinion took a big beating when I took his course on Modern English Literature and attended very few (and I cannot over emphasise this!) of his sessions. I still performed pretty satisfactory and just missed an A. I probably would have grabbed that A if I had known the course syllabus. One day, in his office, he exhorted me to change my attitude and I felt very guilty, but in my typical rebellious teenager manner, I didn't budge. It makes me wonder about the thought processes I must have originated in the professor's mind.
I wish I had attended more of those lectures - at least the ones I liked.
I wouldn't like to teach a student like that.

Girls Gone Wild

2008-06-19T16:50:00.002+05:30

Or Girls Gone Mild. [This is a family blog. Mind it!]
Girls Gone Domestic, rather. Many of my friends, specifically the girls, are going through this phase. Some are meeting new guys over lunch/dinner/coffee, a few have already been 'fianceed', while a few others are devising ingenious ways to tackle family resistance to marry their chosen ones. The most adventurous ones are already back from their trips to Kerala or Switzerland or Honolulu.
Heck, I even know a friend who has her photo with a toddler in arms - now 2 years old. Oh my.
I find it tough that the age is suddenly creeping in upon people in my league. The age in which we have to choose partners. Deep inside, I feel the urge to go back to college days. Those were the days of carefree idyll, amazing activities and wild emotions. We didn't have to bother about the price of oil or the rental rates in Mumbai suburbs. Alas. [ Watching '21' was the primary catalyst for this train of thoughts.]

Alas once again. Only recently I bought a hand blender. Only today I decided to make banana shake. And see what NYT has to say about the future of bananas. It has shaved off a few percentage points from the utility of the gadget. Also, another inch from my projected belly circumference in 2010.

I have been reading some hedge fund analysis off late. Pretty quant stuff, and some macroeconomics thrown in to garnish. But a good take on the Indian markets.

Lathe machines in my head

2008-06-18T20:10:00.000+05:30

An empty mind is a devil's workshop. If that is true, I have a lathe machine, a griding machine and numerous other instruments right inside my head. Apart from brief spells of urgent deadlines, I have mostly had the luxury to spend time doing some of things I like to. Like reading up special reports - articles on Industry sectors, Economics articles etc, watching TV - the Euro Cup in particular and so on.

CoffeeMate's parents had come over and they stayed at our apartment for a little over a week. Therefore, we had a treat of tasty food - Aloo parathe, kheer etc. but aunty having left, we have to go back to our old ways. The new handblender is turning out to be handy though. Visualise me drinking mango shakes everyday. Also visualise me going to shop for new trousers every weekend.

These days I am reading Freaknomics. This I started after I stopped reading "Manias Panics and Depressions - A History of Financial Crises" party because I lost interest and partly because my flatmate took it with him on his trip to KL. I dislike the style of writing used in this book and would have loved it if it were structured more like a pleasant read than a PhD tome. I want to read about financial crises and learn as well - I have not been forced to read this book. That is why, I place greater emphasis on the pleasantness and interest-evoking capability of a book than on its pure technical information content.

Freaknomics scores somewhat lower on pure technical content. Sure it applies economic models to mundane social situations. But at times it fails in those very manners that it criticises the most. Like mixing causation with correlation. In other instances, the authors propose alternative explanations, but present in a manner as if they are estabilishing a truth. The presentation is bereft of arguments estabilishing the causative link, however. Apart from these, the book is a very interesting read. And a quick one.

--No songs tonight--

Monsoon rains and monkey brains

2008-06-08T20:50:00.002+05:30

I mean, really. When Mumbai corporators say Mumbai was flooded because the drains are clogged, they must think they are speaking to an audience blessed with monkey brains. Come on. They told us this reason last year. And the year before that. When will they answer to the public why they are ineffective and incapable?
Quite clearly, the immobilizing Mumbai rains don't excite me much. They probably would if I had a sea-facing apartment in Worli. But there are more than just a few crores between me and that apartment. The one below Katrina Kaif's.
My apartment mate's parents are here. My culinary senses are in ninth heaven with all the tasty food I have been consuming. But I am worried about the disappointment I will face once I have to go back to eating the tiffin food.
I have just finished reading Catch-22. Those who haven't read it should definitely give it a try. For those who can digest that style of humour, and I say this because I know not everyone might, it is fresh and tangy. A very distinct style of writing which though not gripping, is interesting nonetheless. The book is a somewhat long read but worthwhile. Having put it in the 'out' bin, I am now latched on to 'Manias, Panics and Crashes'. This is my favorite genre. Inspired by true stories but somewhat fabricated to make it more interesting. 'Barbarians at the gate' is in that category. So is 'Liar's Poker'.
This week I will try to see '21'. I hear it is a nice movie.
I stumbled upon this video. Amazing. Sweet. Dedicated to by-now-everyone-knows-who.

My head is eating circles

2008-06-03T17:15:00.001+05:30

Having killed all officeflies (as against houseflies) in the 5-feet radius, I am at a loss figuring out how to stop my head from eating circles.

Just this Sunday, I went to a homeopathic doctor. I was asked questions about my food habits, career ambitions, fears and childhood days. And I had gone for an infection of the toe nail! If this isn't the height of holistic healing, I don't know what is. I had never given so much thought to my toenail while I was worring about my career choices during the MBA days. But now, I don't think I will be able to do anything substantial in my life without wondering how it might affect my toe nail.

I recently weighed myself. I weigh an astounding 64kgs! Like Strato always does, you could claim that my shoes and wallet together weigh 4 kgs implying that I am porly paid - since the weight comes from too many coins, or that I am poorly fed. While the former is true, I contest the latter. With a waist size increasing at the speed of India's population, I can hardly be called poorly-fed.

My camera has been lying ununsed for some time now. Well, I did click a few snaps last Sunday when a group of us met up, but the setting wasn't very amenable to clicking too many snaps. And I was left unsatisfied with the end product which resembled a kid's crayon painting when he/she is in a learning stage. The colors were hazy and the photo had camera shake - the only kind of shake I hate.

Pilloo in my soup

2008-05-31T19:06:00.002+05:30

Ref: The ad campaign of an MNC bank titled 'Your point of view'. Pilloo is the name of the green colored multipede (I don't know what else to call it). It is like a small caterpillar. Back home, we used to call it soondi.

There is this famous and decently expensive restaurant in South Mumbai called Fountains. It is famous for its sizzlers and the last time before today that I went to this place, which was a year ago, it served some amazing delicacies. Today, alas was different. And disgusting.

We had asked for veg soup but it came with a non veg topping. A pilloo.
I got ready to raise a hue and cry, but realized the futility of it. Anyway, I called the manager and complained to him. I also left the place and cancelled my order, realizing the best way to punish is to rob it of its business. I didn't go so far as to announce to everyone present in the restaurant, but I am sure at least the man sitting behind me noticed.

What is the point of drinking a soup that costs me 200 Rs but which is not assuredly hygienic?
My advice to you: Next time you order a soup, or anything else, watch out. And it doesn't matter how posh the place feels. A pilloo might still be floating in your soup.

In other things, I am desperately trying to finish Catch-22. Its a nice book with a humorous style which is unique indeed. But it is not gripping. I might as well stop reading it and I will not feel curious about what happens afterward. That was not the case with 'Barbarians at the Gate'. This one is an amazing read. The narrative is gripping, the fact that it is a close depiction of true incidents makes it all the more interesting and the coverage is comprehensive. When the authors introduce a new character, they make sure they provide enough information about him or her to help you form a character sketch. Every character is described in detail but it doesn't get boring. My recommendation for your bookshelf in case you are even slightly interested in the financial markets.

Another of my friends, a batch mate from IIT Kanpur has left his job and started out on his own. I salute the spirit. The desire has been wriggling inside my head for quite some time now and I guess lack of courage is one of the things that is stopping me. Apart from lack of a credible idea, of course!
Some day perhaps.

Because emotions are chemical reactions

2008-05-29T18:23:00.002+05:30

Aren't they?
Think about it, but without emotions please.
This morning, while I was on my way to office, the thing which struck me, apart from the sudden jerks and even more sudden bumps was this.
Every emotion is a goddamn chemical reaction.
When we love someone, it is because some complex chemical molecules enter into a complicated reaction. Now I understand why relationships are said to be complex. But so is every other kind of feeling. Hatred. Envy. Deja vu.
When a person has a psychic experience, it is more likely that, just like the equations in Class XII chemistry exams, some chemical reactions got mixed up. There you see. Bam goes one molecule. Fe instead of Be. I am in ninth heaven instead of my office. Mg instead of Ca. My colleague is kissing the valet instead of giving him the car keys.
I certainly hope my molecules stay in shape.
Also, I will see comments about couples' chemistry in a very different light now. No, I haven't changed the tubelight in my house.

Much has changed since I last wrote. Wrote and posted, to be precise.

The more news I read, the more I am convinced that the taxes I pay every month are financing Mayawati's colossal bungalows, huge Ambedkar parks, expensive laptops for Mumbai Mayor, holiday junkets to Europe for MPs etc.
Ladies and gentlemen, I do not want my money to be spent on an MP's Europe trip. If I could, I would stop paying my taxes. But then, I do not want my money to be spent on bribing my way out of a tax muddle. Catch-22.

Since I do not drive a car, I do not want to finance another person's petrol. Or diesel or fertilisers. Why should I?
Support is one thing, subsidy is another.

Meanwhile, a lot of people certainly must be wishing they were in Chandigarh IPL team given its sponsor's (and you know which one I am talking about) frequent hugging gifts to the team. Ouch, did I choose a wrong career?

Sometimes, just the thought of liking something makes you feel guilty. Of stealing, cheating, hurting and more. Some emotions are so fragile, even the conscious awareness of their existence makes them evaporate into thin air. And it leaves you with the carbon black residue of mixed feelings.
Note: some molecules in my head were trying to act funny.

I stumbled upon the blogs of a few old friends including Talisma. Learnt of developments which surprised me. The only way I can react is to express my best wishes. :-)

Adios. With hopes of at least 2-3 posts a week.

Dedicated to you-know-who:

What matters and what doesn't !

2008-04-01T20:32:00.003+05:30

So often we say things we don't really mean. Or, in the very least we end up giving the impression that we don't really mean them. Sample:

It's not that it doesn't matter but... [But I won't give it a nanosecond of my brain's processing time].

You know, that thing doesn't really matter but ... [But I will slit your throat for it].

People might say them because often they have to say something and there is nothing better to say. After all, the truth about most people is not tasteful enough to be told to them.

Sometimes, when people who are more important to me than, the earth's gravity, pull such a trick on me, it leaves me with an acute loss of words. Unsurprisingly, the impressions that are left are not very flattering. Yenna Raskalaa, Mind it!

There is a very interesting saying - When you are negotiating with someone, the deal is worth only as much as your BATNA - Best Alternative To Negotiated Agreement. Upholding the best traditions of an engineer, I propose a corollary - The value of something is only as much as what you are willing to sacrifice for it. If there is something you won't give up at all to have something else, well, no use having something else!

A dear chub from engineering days sent across his research paper on something related to our B Tech Thesis. The title - Complete Constant Random Solution to Computing Non-Antagonistic Multi-player Dynamic Resource Allocation Problems in n-dimensional Momentum-restricted Space. Okay I was kidding. But I swear the actual title was something as scary as that. It took me a fifth of a nanosecond to figure out I won't understand a word of the abstract, leave alone the whole paper. And I lived up to my own expectations. Meanwhile, this stud-in-theory friend seems to have done a good job having teamed up with a fellow whose name sounds Russian.

I have started reading the collection of storied by Manto, translated into English. Very entertaining. Serious enough to touch the brains, but not so heavy as to burden it. A quick-fun read. Next in queue is Fooled by Randomness. Hope to complete it off soon.

A Big Void in life:

2008-03-29T19:48:00.002+05:30

Sometimes one person's absence can make a huge difference to the way you live your life. With Strato not around, my life suddenly feels a lot emptier. Luckily, the emptiness is only temporary as she'll be back in a month's time. Till then, I seem to have all the time in the world.
We recently went on a trip to Panchgani. It was amazing though the heat during the afternoon was unbearable. Some photos here : bhomsphotos.blogspot.com
Meanwhile, I hear a few acquaintances having been laid off. How lucky I feel... so far!
The emptiness stretches from soul to brain. I put the milk to boil and started reading newspaper. It was only after I had read all the tabloid news - which is my favorite section - did I remember. By then, a liter of milk had been reduced to three cup fulls. Then it was the turn of the bread loaves to be forgotten - twice, inside the toaster. I pity the poor souls. After eating the recently-baked-now-cold bread, I pitied my teeth as well. Professional hazards, what else!
I am also at a loss of words now. Will resume full of words and thoughts.

The classic:
Tumko dekha to yeh khayal aaya

Various disjoint sets of thoughts:

2008-02-02T23:22:00.000+05:30

On a Shayar at a popular expat joint in HK-
OK, I must first place the disclaimers and the sweeteners. That place serves good food. Its lunch buffet allegedly has more than 50 items. At least 10 of them are tasty. Heck, even their table cloth was tasty - or was I that hungry?

Now. There are two people on the dais there - one singer and one musician. The singer looks like he is waiting for the Indian shop next door to deliver a packet of ENO.The other one looks around waiting for the next ransom target. Meanwhile, people eat delicious food and wait for the intermittent breaks between songs.

There must also be those Indians who have been living in HK for decades and haven't had time to visit apna desh for quite some time. Their 'Hello's have become 'Whaai's and 'Offo's has become 'Haayaa's. You could possibly hear them say - "Hey, in that song, is it Sagar or Saygar? I can't remember. Never mind, he sings so well. And that is a Grammy-potential musician".

Its a Saturday evening and I am free - and alone. Had met up with a bunch of friends from college over lunch. The one who hosted was nice enough to do all the arrangements - from cleaning up his apartment in advance to buying all the food items. Its a pity that it has been raining so much and even the wind is so freezing cold. Every time I feel the slap of cold wind on my face, I am reminded of the plight of the hundreds of thousands of Chinese travellers who are stranded at various places.

It is a deep contrast you can see in Hong Kong if you venture to spend your mind on anything more stimulating than interest rate curves and investment banking pitches. There are the odd BMWs and Porsches. Then there are also the long queues in front of money transfer agencies every Saturday - these are the housemaids who have come from various SE Asian countries and want to send home some money for their families. There are these Dunhills and LVs where you can find bags worth more than 10,000 HK$. And there are shops nearby where you can find similar looking bags for 100-150 HK$.
I thought such ostentatious difference in people's wealth could lead to crimes. This is a theory many people talk about when discussing the rise of crimes in Indian metros - especially crimes spurred by migrant population.
But in HK, that is not the case. Crime levels are low, except the odd stories - a fiest in Starbucks for instance.

It is easy to notice that there are a lot of taxis in HK (except when it is raining). It is such a well-connected place, people don't really need a car so much. Having a car effectively means you have more money than, say 60% of the junta. On an empirical observation of ~60cars, I found out that taxis comprise 75-80% of the total cars in HK.

I have become very lazy and the frequency of posts here is a clear proof. I wouldn't even have written this but for the nice words from a friend from college about whom I have a great opinion. Thanks bud!

Song for the day:

By the way, I have been to the place they show in the song above.

Aa kaheen door ...

2008-01-24T18:06:00.000+05:30

This post is written as a reaction to a touching incident which happened at a Well Known Institute of Management in West India.
At the center of the matter is a professor in the finance department. A professor who has been been termed variously as boring, soporific and monotonous. I hope there are people who beg to differ - because I want some company here. While not everyone is as lively as SRK playing that remarkably shot "Raaskalaa" scene in OSO, here's a very knowledgeable person trying his best to inculcate some sense of a deeply theoretic discipline into a set of uninterested people - people who have been under the grind for 10 months and think they deserve a break.
I am sure I am not the only one who thinks so, but anyway - in no uncertain terms, I enjoyed his classes. Except the two in which I slept - but that was more because I had been watching a movie till 3 am the previous night. I didn't laugh at his jokes which frankly didn't seem funny to most of us. But when he delved into the more theoretic aspects, it became interesting. Applying one's mind made it a conversation full of insights rather than a monotonous monologue.
Anyway, the teaching abilities of that professor are not the central theme here. And things take a very sad turn now.
A very popular event in the campus, Chaos - the cultural festival, was scheduled to be held in second half of January. A few days before the date, Professor's son dies of some medical complications in the US. The professor's family is supposed to return on the day Chaos is scheduled to begin. The campus authorities see the glaring issue here - how ironic and perhaps insensitive it would be for the campus community as a whole to rejoice with such vigour while a family mourns right there inside the campus. The festival is called off but in the true authoritarian manner - the decision is announced as something being passed on from the authorities to the students. I think this was as much authoritarianism as HRD ministry's edicts which the campus authorities fight tooth and nail. Nevertheless, there is a brief discussion among the students with various opinions. My own opinion is that it was an excessively knee jerk response to entirely call off the festival - rescheduling would have been quite sufficient and absolutely necessary, but I am not much of a stakeholder in the festival now.
Even while this discussion is going on, the Professor sends across a message to the campus community - and that message is the most touching part of this incident. The Professor says that if his son was around, he would have liked the students to enjoy and rejoice in the spirit of Chaos. So, he says, the festival should not be called off.
Of course, the event was rescheduled but I was deeply moved by the manner in which Professor responded. While it is true anyone at that position is expected to show a level of grace and maturity, but in such trying times, this letter displays a gesture far more understanding and compassionate than anyone else's.
I might be, as I usually do, blowing things out of proportion. But fact remains fact. And there is a new name in the list of people I am a fan of.
I hope his family recovers from the shock soon and the situation comes back to normal. Amen.

Ref:http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Academy/9686/aakahindoorchale.htm

Aa Kahin Door Chale Jayein Hum

Door Itna Ki Humein

Choo Na Sake Koi Gaam

Why?

2008-01-19T19:19:00.000+05:30

A popular theory in the MBA circle is 'Promise less, deliver more'. As a kind of strategic undertone, I think it makes sense. But during our outbound learning experience at the start of my current job, I encountered the usage of this edict to the point where under promise seriously hampered the bidding process. Nobody even tried to bid at what they thought was a 'fair' value! I dislike this. I have seen in other aspects - some I am not prepared to disclose through this channel, and I can see through it. When the over delivery happens, the other party ends up feeling cheated. If the under promise is too low, the over delivery will not matter much. It also effectively creates a lemon market for such bids. The other party gets used to over delivery. And what happens when you genuinely want to indicate a downturn? You have to exaggerate that as well!

There is something that strikes you the first time someone who speaks Cantonese (or is it Mandarin, I don't know) calls you up on wrong number. Suppose someone calls you and it starts like this:
You: Hello
Other Party: Why?
You: Hello
Other Party: Why?
Bang.

I began to think. I began to think deeply. I couldn't figure out what I could have done to elicit such a deep question. It was as if someone was asking me why I exist. Much to my chagrin, there were a few more repetitions of this kind. It was then it struck me. Why (or rather Wai) is the Hello in Chinese. Oh. Thats why.

I stumbled (or perhaps re stumbled) upon a blog. Reading it is fun for the spicy insights it contains. Pretty much like the S** and the city. That the quality of writing is good is beyond doubt. The author has just published a short collection of shorter poems (or longer poems, I don't know) and was mentioned on ET.

Strato and I have just begun seeing uncannily frequent coincidences. Too many times, the same thoughts emerge in our minds at the same time. Well, I guess it just happens over time. I have become lazier than I was - I am content spending a weekend watching movies, eating and a short walk. Lets see how Strato changes!

Suffocation

2008-01-11T23:57:00.000+05:30

No. This does not refer to the black as a black hole smoke from idling trucks , stuck in a traffic jam on an Indian highway, waiting for the railway intersection to open. Nor does it refer to the dense fumes emanating from Chinese factories which I suspect are the reason behind the many permanently disfigured faces, dotted with acne more dense than ants inside an ant hill.

This comes after I saw a movie. Taarey Zameen Par. It made me cry - well, almost. Infinite thoughts crowded my mind. I remembered all the times when I felt like a machine running to the rules dictated by a cruel world. I remembered all those teachers who were criticized for not being hard working but whose classes were absolutely intriguing. I use this post to remember them, say them a thank you from a point in my heart deeper than Mariana Trench, and hope that they continue to enrich others for a long time to come.

When I was in a convent school, I was punished very often. For not wearing the proper dress on school day. For not wearing the blue socks with two red stripes. For not having the school symbol stitched into my blazer. And umpteen such reasons. I wasn't dyslexic, nor did I have the power of imagination that Ishaan is shown to possess. But I had my bad times. Like when they taught the nuances of the guts of a frog. Or the blood circulation inside insects.

Even to this day, I question the relevance of all that. I had my moments of solitude and absolute disillusionment. I went to a military school which groomed me to face the world. It taught me a lot of hard lessons that have stood by me in difficult times. But it was also where I felt absolutely out of place. I knew I wasn't meant to be a cross country runner. I knew I would never be able to play hockey without fearing the ball (and fearing for the balls!). I am sure each one of us has passed through those moments.

I was lucky that my parents put so much trust in me to let me get out of that school and live on my own for 2 years. While I was very lonely at times - imagine, I got into the habit of talking to stars ! - I read up a lot and performed well.

I look back at those days with mixed emotions. Certainly it was one of the happiest moments of my life when I learnt of my JEE rank. But there was no real reason why I had chosen to take that test. Just because everyone had. Just because it was a way to show that I can do whatever I want. I don't even know why I gave the CAT exam. Here again I performed much better than what I had ever hoped for, but I still don't know why I gave it. May be because it helped me tell people around me that while I have failed them in many respects, at least there are some things they can feel happy about. That it turned out to be a deciding factor in my career was only incidental.

I am another product of this system - the system which churns out doctors, engineer and MBAs. Where children spend their most beautiful years learning the most abstruse trigonometric identities and then forget them. Where they learn about Schrodinger's equations, Bohr's theories, various laboratory techniques and biological details of exotic animal species - never to return to them ever in their lives.

Some of my most beautiful memories of school days revolve around teachers who used to give us a free hand. And that I am sure you will realise is a very rare thing. I am yet to come across ambitious children, though it is not difficult to find children of ambitious parents. Most of the friends I know have become what was expected of them. It is blasphemy to say that parents can do harm to their children but I have seen parents being selfish enough to make their children go through rigorous activities - entirely against their wishes - just to enable the parents to bask in the glory of their children's accomplishments. I have seen a very small kid with thick glasses being dragged away from playground to attend his evening tuition.

I know of a very intelligent guy whose brilliance just got lost in the difficulties of this myriad world. When he was in class 9th, he used to read books more often read by people at the undergraduate level. His correspondences with Nobel laureates, their comments on his thoughts on the topic, his own reflections on myriad topics - from neurobiology to blackholes to quantum dynamics - these were a clear indication that his abilities far exceeded ours. While he may be happily employed somewhere, working among a sea of similar men, I think it is a very unfortunate thing that his dreams got lost somewhere in the course of life. Kamlesh Joshi, if you ever read this, do remember that I think of you as the brightest kid I ever met. As the kid whose genius was the stuff we read about in books. As the guy I was always scared of because he was the one I could almost never beat.

The most poignant moment in the movie comes when Aamir Khan describes how Ishaan must feel battling against everyone, refusing to accept that he cannot learn the letter as easily as others, and living each day to fight a battle against everyone - even his parents. How helpless and frustrated he must have felt. How immense the feeling of betrayal must have been when he was left in a boarding school he didn't want to go to. . .

It is a pity that the most beautiful part of childhood is lost in such rote learning.
It is a greater pity that we will see such a movie and forget it in a week. And then, we will avenge the suffocation of our own childhood by making our children go through the same trauma. The trauma of living on forced desires, of seeing someone else's dream, of not having a voice in deciding the course of their lives.

Something of my own doing :

A Boy of Five.

A boy of five ,
he cried , he cried .
For some mercy for his life
and to everyone he cried .

Tattered clothes, hungry eyes
till he had a hoarse voice.
For his mother long dead ,
for some water for some bread.
Countless corpses by his side ,
at the putrid smell ,he cried .

He tried to look around,
stupefied, he fell to ground .
He couldn't move, he couldn't speak
weeks of hunger made him weak .
In a camp of refugees,
slowly in his pant he pees .
Among the corpses he lay still ,
out of hunger tears spill .
All his hope this world belied,
till he lived ,he cried, he cried .

Hai Koi to Wajah...

2008-01-09T17:49:00.000+05:30

It is curious how sharp the tips of Chinese pen must be - so exquisitely fine their script is.
I guess you know that the average physical size of humans is smaller in China - you can notice that on numerous expat messageboards where Westerners incessantly complain about not being able to find clothes of their size in HK. It is my suspicion that the diminution might be a direct consequence of the trauma of having to learn such a difficult language in early childhood. And it is a wonder that the children come out of it pretty much alive and sane.
It bewilders me when I go to the toilet in my office. There is a notice which says, "Dont dispose of garbage in the urinal". Below it is a graphic description. First it shows how you pee. Then it shows what garbage is. Then it shows how you can throw garbage into the urinal. And then, finally it shows what happens if you do that. Somewhat like this :

But the culture here is good. The people are warm and nice, helpful to the point where 'thank you' is the most often heard phrase every day for me. The lady at the counter says, thank you when - I give her my credit card for billing ; I take back my credit card; I collect the order; I leave the cafe. Heck, she would jump up with a quick 'thank you' if I looked in her direction with more than an emotionless gaze.

People are more liberal in their dressing sense (but this is a cosmo - don't know what the status in countryside is) . There is enough crowd to make you at home if you are a Mumbaiite but far less chaos. The lines are long - at bus stops, taxi stops, ticket points and so on. But the infrastructure is smooth. Buses are nice and cosy, tram is idyllic and metro is efficient - just the way one might want it. One feels safe walking around in the evening, and the ladies definitely feel safe considering the lengths of their dresses even on freezing cold evenings.

The two things I am averse to are - the smell of dried sea food and the exotic dishes on local restaurants' menus. The most memorable ones I have encountered are : Horse tongue in honey with cockroach whiskers to garnish and Corn fed chicken sprayed with finely chopped sea snakes. Eww. Even the thought makes me nauseous.

A good thing about this place is that genuine - or almost genuine, I dont know - CDs are available for much cheaper than elsewhere. The problem is when you want movie CDs without Chinese subtitles.

I have heard a lot about Taarey Zameen Par. Am waiting for the occasion to see this movie - especially now that it has been declared tax-free by the government. I had been planning to watch 'Halla Bol' this week till I learnt that the price of the movie ticket would be around 200HKD. That is a thousand bucks back home. Me and my friend can watch a movie in the sofas of the famous movie hall in Bandra - I forget its name.

Anyway, I am happy that I am writing a post second day in a row. That is happening after many many days!

Haan Hai Koi to wajah
To jeena ka maza yun aane laga

Yeh hawaon mein hai kya
Thoda sa jo naasha yun chane laga...

Aghast on new year!

2008-01-08T18:04:00.000+05:30

I will never be able to think about new years in the same festive spirit as I used to. We all know what happened in Mumbai. And Kochi. And Kolkata. And many other places.
Sometimes I wonder if, as India becomes richer, young men feeling left out of the economic surge display their frustration through acts like these. Or is it that we have come to the inflexion point where our cultural values from medieval times ( can't say ancient because then you would say - look Ajanta , look Khajuraho ) are encountering the more liberal values from west (beamed to us through numerous channels and pirated dvds) , and making a cauldron of mixed notions and confused intentions. However, 'confused' sounds too soft a word when we look at the manner in which these acts repeat themselves and have become a constant recurrence in our daily lives. 'Evil' serves the purpose better.
I was aghast when a dear friend recently told me of her ordeal in walking the 300 meters from her home to the railway station. And then I think about it. It isn't that I have not known about it. I have walked in female company before and have noticed the looks, emanating from passersby.
And then, you read about articles like these. You feel slightly better till you read comments like this one: . The attitude towards women in India needs to change manifold before one can feel safe. Delhi, the most frequently mentioned city for sexual violence is not alone in its record. Mumbai's record is going down the lane. And all this talk is only about the one-off cases that the media takes up as exemplary cases.
What about the everyday eve-teasing? Even to call it eve teasing is to give it a somewhat dignified look. It is molestation and should be treated as such.
Those police officers and upholders of 'Bhartiya Sanskriti' who go about prowling for cultural violators in parks and elsewhere should feel ashamed. Will they ever realise how much more important it is to prevent such heinous events from happening than it is to guard our parks from coodling couples?

Will we ever give up our moral hypocrisy? The perpetrators have been identified in some cases. Will their mothers teach them a lesson or two in treating women with respect instead of trying to save their sons' skins?

Will we ever live in a country where women feel free to travel in public transport, celebrate new year and walk around without wondering about rowdy men?

No song today please.

Accidents in Hong Kong

2007-12-26T16:53:00.001+05:30

[ and it hasn't even been a month!]

-I enter a superstore, find my way around. As usual, I don't know what I want to buy - I will try to find out what I can buy. After a bit of roaming around, and very little shopping, I seek my way out. And then the trouble begins. The rows are circuitous and that smell of fish and other slimy sea creatures makes me a little dazed. I ask an employee and he seems to only half understand. He points towards the big escalator, and up there I go. Before I get off the escalator, I realise that I have just reached where I was 5 mins back. Then I ask the security guard, and she points me down the same big escalator. I go down. Meet the fellow again, who this time insists that I go UP the same escalator. I try to look around and happen to go near the office area and this makes the fellow nervous. Then he comes near and shows some sign which I take for money. I show him the bill and he apologetically shows me the way. Didn't know 'exit' is not a commonly understood word in Hong Kong.
-I am sleepy in the night, and the weather is warm. I take off my shirt and throw it. In the morning I put a 'Please make up my room' display on the door when I leave. In the evening, I can't find the t-shirt. I do my best looking around. I still can't find it. Then I remember - last night the t shirt landed on top of the lamp. Perhaps there is a signal in Chinese custom to put the clothes you want to throw off on top of your lamp? By the way, I am still looking around.
-You go to an electronic store, looking for a small item. The shopkeeper says 190. You think it is too high a prize, try to bargain. You bring the price to 150, by doing the trick of going away without buying. Even then, you feel suspicious. Next day you look up on ebay and find the quoted price is 70. Can I say more?
-I decide to go to Victoria peak, mostly to click some nice shots of the city and to also complete the ritual - many online tourist websites suggest the peak top as the must-visit place. I go to the ticket counter, and find around a hundred people waiting in queue. Phew. I must wait and that I do. At the top is a great view and a lot of people as I expected. I am not wearing a jacket and suddenly the temperature drops. I decide its time to go back, and go towards the embarking station. Phew. Another line, and this time I just can't seem to find its end. It goes on and on and on. After an hour of waiting, I get into the tram. Simple calculation shows there were more than 400 people in the queue ahead of me. :-O
-I get into a taxi and say, 'Macdonnell road'. The taxi driver gives a knowing nod and speeds up. On and on we go as I see that he keeps ignoring the diversions to the left that I understand must lead to my destination. At what looks like the end of the city ( in India, they put a board saying 'thank you for visiting us' at the end of city limits... here the city limit ends into south china sea) , he seems to want me to get down. I insist I will go to mcdonnell road. he turns around and traverses half of the city and I finally reach my destination. a trip of 20 bucks becomes a 75 dollar trip!

Purchase of a life time...

2007-12-22T07:11:00.000+05:30

When I bought a digital camera 3.5 years back, they weren't such a popular item in apna desh. And they cost a lot. So I was very happy when I got what looked like a great steal. The model was this - seems like a dud by today's standards, but back in those days, when 3MP was the order of the day (like those gmail invitations! ) 3x optical zoom seemed to be indulgent. The 6-7xs were simply out of my purview because they cost a bomb. (Murgee chaap, sivakasi ke bagal ke gaon wala bomb). I must have clicked a couple of thousand photos, then the lens started creating trouble, battery went kapoot. I ditched my cam. Then one fine day, I was gifted a tripod, I bought a new memory card and battery. The lens started working by itself as if the earlier dysfunction was a protest against the miserly 16MB memory card and old batteries. My earlier penchant for photography re-arose. And then I came to HK.
The rest is history. Have bought a Digital SLR and a lens that is as costly as the camera itself. But the results are surprisingly good. And I hope to click better photos from now on.
--update--
I went to the victoria peak on saturday and a temple and flower market on sunday. If there is one point to see HK from, that must be the top of peak. Unfortunately there was so much pollution that visibility was low before sunset. The real view however sets in after the sunset. Its a splendid panoramic scene. Find lots of photos in the usual photoblog. The flower market was a complete riot of colors. Unfortunately, I didn't find the stares and glares of shopkeepers very welcoming. Add to that my stereotype of Chinese people being martial arts experts and you get the picture. I clicked a few though, thanks to the zoom factor in my camera. The temple was also very colorful. Brilliant red juxtaposed with bright yellow. Very eye catching. The priests sang in their native tongue and the whole atmosphere was filled with a religious feeling. I hated that my lens does not have USM (a mechanism for autozoom which is very silent). However, at times the sharp click of the lens makes you feel like a great photographer!

another major update:
I am chachaji now. The tiny angel is a darling of everyone of course. Its a pity I will only get to meet her in mid feb. She will have grown by then!

Another week has come and gone. With an agenda of doing at least something worthwhile this weekend, I didn't feel the luxury of an idyllic weekend. Anyway, it was only great that I managed to do all this considering that I was alone.

I have seen too much crowd here. A little more than Mumbai. Sundays are free for many working women (read: housemaids) and the main streets are bustling with hordes of them. At every traffic light you will find a mass. In weekends, every tourist destination is over crowded. When I was returning from Victoria peak, there were at least 400 people in the queue ahead of me waiting to get into the tram.
The tram by the way, is a technological marvel. It climbs at such a steep angle, you wonder for once if it will fall backwards. Sort of like a roller coaster at considerably slower speed (though faster than those hill queens of india).

Sometimes I wonder if my notions of relationships are skewed. Is it that I seek the element of perfection (sounds so CVish na? :D) ? I mean, I am like an open book. Should I stay that way? Everyone wants their space. Have I ever thought of how much space I occupy? In the physical world, that question has revisited me every time I try my recently-bought jeans that is now too tight. In the mental world, the thought is struck when I see people drawing lines that far outstretch mine. I should probably use the jostling tricks I learnt in Mumbai suburban trains and create some space around me that will be mine. May be I shouldn't always speak my mind. Earlier I used to write diary almost daily but soon the agenda was hijacked (by matters of the heart). I guess I need to confine the darkest thoughts to my diary. The human race doesn't deserve to be tortured by those.

Another weekend has come and gone. It has been 15 days since I landed in Hong Kong. Have enjoyed the comforts, but resented the crowded market place. Liked the taxi ride, hated the noxious smell of dried seafood. It has been a mixed bag - much like life has been.

...
Hoshwalon Ko Khabar Kya
Bekhudi Kya Cheez Hai
...
Hum Labon Se Keh Na Paaye, Unse Haal-E-Dil Kabhi
Aur Woh Samjhe Nahin Ye Khamoshi Kya Cheez Hai
...

First week in King Kong...

2007-12-16T13:35:00.000+05:30

Sorry, that is Hong Kong !

Its been exactly a week since I landed here. Thanks to a survivor-like experience on my earlier trips abroad, I did pretty well this time. Found my way to the hotel, found edible food to eat, called up home and all that. Luckily I had a batchmate here who helped me with the initial setup and first few queries.

HK is a city of sky rises. Now I haven't been to Shanghai or Chicago which have a similar reputation so I don't know how it compares internationally. But I guess there are more buildings with 20+ floors in my neighbourhood than the whole of Mumbai. My hotel has 32, my office building has 50. Oh and the building next block has 100+ !
It must be easy for HongKongese parents. When the kid gets pesky just say "Count the floors in this building". Agle ek ghante tak shanti!

HK is also a city of emigrants. People of all nationalities converge here which also makes it a heaven for international food. However I must confess that, without causing any offense, I do not like the Chinese food. The Chinese food, not the Indianised version of Chinese food one gets on Ahmedabad roadside and Mumbai restaurants which is about as Chinese as Mallika Sherwat in Myth. I am sure you must have heard about the Naga fetish for canine meat. And incidentally, I think dogs and Halley comet sightings are equally rare here.
Chinese food smells. Since I don't like the smell of sea food , and the food seems to consist of marine cockroaches, you can easily guess what the smell of local restaurant food does to my nose.

The two things I love about HK compared to Mumbai are the ease of (and comfort in) strolling around and the spacious taxis ! I mean, you could sit down, lie around or play ping pong. And the driver won't even know. Of course, every once in a while, I have to twitch my nose, think of Reshammiya and say Muck-donaall-rode ( all 'd's as in 'dil') when the address is Macdonnell road. And it takes some amount of time to get used to traversing the zig zagging flyovers.

I am still thinking about buying the SLR. With so many nomenclatures and stuff, I will be lucky to have one in my hand next weekend. Then I can click some better photos as I am already beginning to feel constrained with my point and shoot. And walking around with a point and shoot fitted on a tripod is funny to say the least.

Akele hain to kya gham hai,
chahe to hamare bas mein kya nahi ...

2007-10-08T20:54:00.000+05:30

Suddenly I was reminded of that cold night in the harsh winters of January 1999. Two teenagers with little more than their courage to hold on to were braving the cold morning chill and outrageously long train delays to return back to their boarding schools. As the elder of the two, I was in the unenviable position of making choices, all of which backfired. Except the last one.
The journey from Banda, my hometown in those days, to Gwalior should take 9 hours. It took 15. By the time we reached Dholpur ( a further 60 kms from Gwalior ) it was 10 pm. Ten pm in first week of January in the semi-arid regions of Rajasthan can be bone chilling. With no means to go to campus from railway station, we were left stranded with little idea of what to do. Frantic search of an old relative failed. At that moment, I dug up the telephone number of a batchmate (Ankur Garg, a day scholar at my school ) and sought help. Without a moment of thought, he asked us to come to his home. Two teens were spared the harsh night, when temperatures would have touched a low of 1`C . It was an evening I can never forget. The numbness induced by the bone chilling winds had scared me for an instant. And what kept me thinking was the fact that there was someone younger I had to take care of.

Head mein ek ho raha hai, kuch type karne ka mann nahi kar raha, aur ek long drive per jane ka mann kar raha hai. at the speed at which I drive, that would mean a trip to the next chaar rasta. Filhal, mein apne sapne ki gaadi chalata hoon:

Chupke se kahin, dheeme paaun se

jaane kis tarah, kis ghadi

aage badh gaye, humse raahon mein

par tum toh abhi thi yahin

kuch bhi na suna, kab ka tha gila

kaise keh diya alvida

Jinke darmiya gujri thi abhi

kal tak yeh meri zindagi

dono baahon ko, thandi chaanv ko

hum bhi kar chale alvida

Alvida, alvida, meri raahein alvida

meri saansein kehati hai, alvida

alvida, alvida, ab kehna aur kya

jab tune keh diya, alvida

Sunle bekhabar, yuun aankhein pher kar aaj tu chali jaa

dhundegi nazar humko hi magar har jagah

aisi raaton mein leke karvate, yaad hamein karna

aur phir haar kar kehna kyun magar, keh diya alvida alvida

koi puchhe toh zara, kya socha aur kaha alvida

alvida, alvida, ab kehna aur kya

jab tune keh diya, alvida

Hum the dil jale, phir bhi dil kahe

kaash mere sang aaj hote tum agar, hoti har dagar gulsitaa

tumse hai khafa, hum naaraaz hai, dil hai pareshaan

socha na suna tune kyun bhala keh diya alvida alvida

koi puchhe toh zara, kya socha aur kaha alvida

alvida, alvida, ab kehna aur kya

jab tune keh diya, alvida

kyun socha aur kahan alvida

dono baahon ko, thandi chaanv ko

hum bhi kar chale alvida

and here's the video:

A birthday and more...

2007-09-25T15:28:00.000+05:30

Strato's birthday has come and gone. Can't believe it has been a year since this. Can recount a thousand happy tales from the past year and a few sad ones as well. The happy ones are centered around evenings spent watching movies, strolling in the dark and creepy campus gardens or giving surprises. And oh yes, those first times - (The first walk, the first movie and many things more suited to the confines of my mind and heart! ) Let us just leave the sad tales alone.
All in all, the lady in question has a rocking love life (by her own admission). Wish her all the luck and happy moments !

It felt nice to celebrate a birthday the way kids do. Bursting balloons, donning the birthday hat with all its frills hanging around, playing music in the background and smearing a pretty face with dark, black chocolate cake - I did all this and more. And to top it all, a nice piece of cake did the cameo, perched triumphantly on Strato's nose, making her resemble Mickey Mouse more than I resemble Hulk Hogan. Alas, I don't have a million dollars to dole out to Strato in legal suits, so cannot publish the photographs here.

In fact, the whole weekend was dominated by this agenda. I bought a nice French liqeur bottle, a few scented candles and in general, cleaned up my room. On Saturday, I also made aloo ke parathe. Bhagwan ki kasam, they were very delicious. The first one looked like a disgruntled amoeba, but the next two wore a more proper parathaish appearance. Then we had a nice get together with a pseudo-Surd friend and an old grouppie with her Mister ( the adjective old, by the way, is only for the association). Had a nice laugh and a not-that-nice dinner.

If you are in Mumbai and looking around for a place to have dessert/birthday cake, do try Birdys. Not immodestly priced and tastes like heaven. Very few things known to mankind could be more pleasant (and sinful?) than eating that rich chocolate cake. However, Pritam da dhaba turned out be a disappointment. The Rogan Josh had a faint bitterness reminiscent more of choloroquinol than curry patta. The Veg Makkhanwala was sweet. Overall, the food was something I wouldn't like to torture my palette with again. But there was something about the ambience that made me feel good. Can't say whether it was the open space, the rural setting or just the occasion.

There comes a time in everyone's life when you decide that you can't take it any more. Whether it is excess of work or lack of it. Excess of food or lack of it. Excess of vigorous physical activity or lack of it. The former makes you resemble a kid from Ethiopia, the latter makes you a true baniya with a waste size in nervous 50s . Right now, I have developed expertise in hunting houseflies, mosquitoes and other members of that gharana. And in the process of taking revenge, a spider has made me resemble a distant relative of Angelina Jolie.

It has also been a year since I attended the Oktoberfest last year. When the festival is on, even the trees in the gardens get to drink huge amounts of beer. Six million visitors, infinite amount of beer and only limited numbers of toilets - you get what I mean. It is one of those times when irrigating the trees no longer remains the forte of Indian men. The overflowing imagery aside, the atmosphere is as festive as it gets. I miss those times for the spirit in the air ( not the spirits in the masse ).

[http://home.kiski.net/~maury/poems/eliot.html]
"If you sit down at set of sun
And count the acts that you have done,
And, counting, find
One self-denying deed, one word
That eased the heart of him who heard
, One glance most kind
That fell like sunshine where it went--
Then you may count that day well spent. "
-George Eliot

Cherish thy friends, kyunki:

zindagi ke safar mein,guzar jate hain jo makam
woh phir nahin aate,
woh phir nahin aate
zindagi ke safar mein,guzar jate hain jo makam
woh phir nahin aate,
woh phir nahin aate

phool khilte hain,
log milte hain
phool khilte hain,
log milte hain magar
patjhad main jo phool
murjha jate hain
woh baharon ke aane se khilte nahin
kuchh log ek roz jo bichad jate hain
woj hazaron ke aane se milte nahin
umr bhar chahe koi pukara kare unka naam
woh phir nahin aate,
woh phir nahin aate
http://www.free-lyrics.org

aankh dhoka hai
kya bharosa hai
aankh dhoka hai kya bharosa hai suno
doston shak dosti ka dushman hai
apne dil me ise ghar banane na do
kal tadapna pade yaad me unki
rok lo roothkar unko jaane na do
baad me pyaar ke chahe bhejo hazaron salaam
woh phir nahi aate
woh phir nahi aate

subaah aate hai
raat jaate hai
subaah aate hai
raat jaate hai yuhi
waqt chalta hi rehta hai rukta nahi
ek pal me ye aage nikal jaata hai
aadmi theek se dekh paata nahin
aur parde pe manzar badal jaata hai
ek baar chale jaate hai jo din raat subaah shaam
woh phir nahi aate
woh phir nahi aate

zindagi ke safar mein,guzar jate hain jo makam
woh phir nahin aate,
woh phir nahin aate

A practical believer

2007-09-19T21:39:00.000+05:30

This is getting serious[Ref: this article]. A profoundly philosophical debate (or rather, a thought) has been spurred inside me. And it only restrengthens my earlier thoughts.
Many times in my childhood, I recited a prayer from Ramayana. I exhorted Lord Shiva to come to my rescue whenever I was in trouble. I saw almost-miracles happen. But the fact is, I only remember those times when I prayed and it helped.
What about the time when I got sick with malaria and typhoid simultaneously? Imagine what it must have done to a person who weighed 45kg when he should be weighing 60kg. What about the time when I cried in agony? And at least some people will say, you did something that deserved the punishment. Nice! When prayer works, it is work of God. When prayer doesn't work, it is because I deserved punishment. Or may be, it worked in some other form. May be I weighed 46 instead of 45 after I recovered.
Can there be a better all-explaining hypothesis?

Similarly for God. So many people relentlessly try to prove the existence of God. How can you doubt a holy scripture- they say. Just because a million people believe in a book (whether Ramayan or Bible) is not a reason enough. For centuries, people believed that the Earth is round. And to top it all, humans were banished to painful deaths for contradicting that belief. Therefore, just because a million people believe something isn't enough for me to believe.

At the other end of the spectrum, some people adopt an ultra-rational and scientific approach to the issue. And that is where I intercept the logic.

I don't claim that Rama existed, nor do I deny it. Similarly for Jesus. However, I do think that historical and unambiguous proofs do not exist to collaborate such claims. That is where faith comes in, and logic departs. You believe what you want to believe.

On this string of thoughts is a very interesting article:(). Now I am willing to give credit to this theory.

Mind you, I am not an atheist. I am a practical believer. I pray to God, but I do that to compose myself. And it composes me because it takes my mind off the instant worries.

People say everything happens for good. What it actually implies is the widely known tendency of human brain to reconcile everything. There are popular theories in psychology about human brain trying to process information using models and templates. Religion, by the very nature of it, becomes an ingrained template in our mind and whenever a dissonance arises, we try to find the means to reconcile things. Given human capability for selective amnesia, we invariably end up with the belief that everything happens for good.

Think about it. . . Do you believe the scientific theory that we evolved from chimpanzees and apes? At what point in that evolution did the religions start? My conjecture is that all these religious practices are a result of evolution. Religious practices must have evolved as a means to strengthen the cohesion within groups. Over the years, the practices got intertwined with available scientific knowledge in those ages. Geniuses must have existed even in those times! This intertwining might explain why we are able to observe rational or scientific justification in many religious practices.
If you really believe evolution as a scientific theory, can you not see the immediate contradiction with the texts in Bible and

Are we willing to accept the fact the religion is a matter of faith, and not scientific debate? That when someone says, "There is no proof that Rama/Jesus existed", it is not equivalent to saying "You are an idiot if you believe in Rama/Jesus".

The missionary practices, or the practices of other religions to spread their own faith point towards the hypothesis that religions must have evolved from tribes as a means to ensure survival. The greater the numbers, the greater the chances of survival. Hence, there was a need to spread faith. But the spread of Buddhism may not be explained by such simplistic logic.

To conclude it all, ladies and gentlemen, the God (or His/Her representations) we pray to are human imaginations. And I stand by it.
But it doesn't hurt to pray to God if it brings calm and composure.

The 2H message!

2007-09-18T21:17:00.000+05:30

Curse the biraadari of bacteria and virii ( or is it viruses?) for they trouble us thus. First I had a throat infection so bad that my deep baritone became deeper than Indian Ocean and Gulzar's lyrics. Then Strato suffered at the hands of these mercenaries. By the way, she is still recovering from those bacteria bullets.
Recently I had the good luck of riding a taxi that shook so wildly that if they shot me with a video camera, I would resemble a side dancer in Shammi Kapoor's classics. Between muttering unmentionables, I beseeched the almighty to protect me, especially since I haven't taken the life insurance yet. All of a sudden, the vibrations vanished into thin (and shaky) air. Was I lucky?
Talking of cars, I now spend half an hour every few days in a week cruising at 20. Sometimes I even top 30 (and that is only when there are no taxi drivers, trucks or street dogs in sight). But it gets kind of dazy at those speeds.
Am preparing (mostly mentally) for a trip abroad. A few months in the Chinki land would bring me back to the reality of how beautiful our eyes are. In the interim, I am planning to buy a Digital SLR. A 24 months EMI will hopefully take the bite out of this Canon purchase. It will most probably be this one.
I came across this revealing website. But wait, before you jump with unfounded (or new founded) excitement, it is NOT a link to Mallika's wardrobe. Just an eye opener. And here is a moral petition to all the devoutly religious Hindus all over the world : Do you realise how much milk is spilled every year washing Shiva Linga? Do you know how many hungry men, women and children inhabit the streets of India? Can you come out of the mental slavery of blind practices and be more humane? Will give you more punya than all the hawans and vrats.
I beseech my friends who understand this message to spread it around. Convince your mothers and fathers. Call it the double H agenda : Hygiene will come, Hunger will go. Use the milk to feed people, not wash Lord Shiva.
On the same lines, most religions seem to believe that God is hearing impaired. What are all those loud speakers for? The ones right beside my house have given me so much headache, I could hear some implosions. Wait, is it a decoy from Disprin?
Lord Ganesh is a very cute good (typical Indian pot bellied figure), and I am sure He will enjoy all the revelry. Revelry, but NOT the cacophony. Dear pundits, spare my ears. Please.
Talking of the habits of Indian men(and women), Prof Raghunathan has a very valid point. We are a very short sighted bunch of people. If only we all chose to be a little more patient and tolerant of rules, the traffic situation would improve. But we all go to the bed everynight and pray, "Chaos kayam rahe". So the situation is not susceptible to improving any time soon.
If you still do not use RSS feeds, consider yourself to be living in the stone age of internet. Consider the fact that I go through 200+ articles (but read only a few) every day. And these are select articles from select websites. You see the level of filtering? Only Aquaguard can better it.

Here's some 3-D lyrics (for its depth) :

ajnabi shahar hai
ajnabi shaam hai
zindagi ajnabi kya tera naam hai
ajeeb hai ye zindagi ye zindagi ajeeb hai
ye milti hai bicharti hai bicharke phir se milti hai
Ajnabi shehar hai
ajnabi shaam hai

aap ke bagair bhi hume
meethi lage udasiya
kya ye aap ka aap ka kamaal hai
shayad aapko khabar nahi
hil rahi hai paaon ki zameen
kya ye aap ka aap ka khayal hai
ajnabi shehar mein zindagi milgayi
ajeeb hai ye zindagi ye zindagi ajeeb hai
mein samjha tha kareeb hai ye auron ka naseeb hai
ajnabi shaher hai
ajnabi shaam hai

baat hai ye ek raat ki
aap badalo pe letey the
woh yaad hai aapne bulaya tha
sardi lag rahi thi aapko
patli chandi lapetey the
aur shawl mein khwaab ke sulaya tha
ajnabi thi sahi saans mein silgayi
ajeeb hai ye zindagi ye zindagi ajeeb hai
mere nahi ye zindagi rakeeb ka naseeb hai...

Rumblings on job...

2007-09-04T19:38:00.000+05:30

Yours Truly works at an i-bank desk. Clearly, a blog is not the best place to voice an opinion of one's job. But I can safely say that the kind of money one makes at an i-banking desk is enough to increase inertia to very high levels. Inertia against switching to a delta-higher paying job. Inertia against starting out on one's own.

Very few people amongst those who graduated from my batch currently seem to be satisfied with their jobs. Others are barely satisfied, if at all. And I don't think it is because of the nature of their jobs. Fresh out of the college, especially one as revered and coveted as IIMA, people have expectations, and not all of those are realistic. The college life presents far more academic or intellectual challenges than most jobs I have heard of. The challenge in real life, I realise, is more in the manner of being able to manage everything and doing a great job of it. To expect some pathbreaking earth-shattering task in one's job isn't a wise thing to do.
I sit on my chair for hours (long hours compared to government jobs, short hours compared to my peers in London, HK or NY). I do number crunching and wafer crunching simultaneously, sipping Real Juice intermittently (or Tropicana, even though Frooti is my favorite). I prepare presentations and spreadsheets. I hear tales from my friends across seven seas and realise how far seperated impressions can be from reality.

Anyway, I am just back from a well-timed one week vacation at home, followed by an adventurous trip to Khopoli. This town is located some 70 kms from Mumbai and makes for an interesting a-few-hour-getaway. A hired Sumo (of the automotive kinds) cost us 1800 Rs and it took us around an hour and a half to navigate through the traffic laden roads of Mumbai to reach this place. Hiring the taxi itself was a learning experience. Having received his entire sum in advance, the travel agent started showing dubious signals. It didn't help that we were dressed more like tourists than local residents. After some angry words, open threats and many excuses, we were given our money back and we struck a deal with another agent.
The photos of the trip are here.
It was a huge waterfall. I would put the estimate at around 150 feet, though even a figure of 175 wouldn't surprise me. We managed to get almost right underneath it, though a really enterprising girl amongst us actually ventured into the vortex area of the waterfall. For a few seconds, I really was scared. What if I slipped? The presence of what looked like a bunch of skilled swimmers didn't completely alleviate the fear. But all in all, it was an experience I hadn't had before. One of us had a really really amazing tumble. Am in the process of getting that video uploaded.

It is high time I shared some of the new blogs I have stumbled into of late. Some are pretty interesting - for instance, there is a female New York Taxi driver who is publishing a book. And her blog is alleged to receive thousands of hits daily. At least initially, the blogs are very informative. Both because the cultural setting is very new and because a lady in that setting is not a common occurrence. Then there is Brewhaha, which you must absolutely visit if you are in Bangalore. Also in the list is www.whatay.com, the new avataar of Domain Maximus, a popular blog.

The last one reminded me of my own programming days. For long, programming in all its forms has been my most preferred mental activity. The pleasure of seeing the correct output even in the face of most weird (but valid, nonetheless) inputs has been surpassed by only the most primitive of human activities. Those were my days at IIT, when a new programming task meant staring dazy-eyed at the monitor and emptying many a wafer packets. Many of my friends complimented me on my skills in this arena, and one of them very recently did. I was very pleasantly surprised. From trying to solve a sudoku using basic principles to emulating a pool game in the most simplified versions, I have tried many tricks. My deepest connections with the inside of an operating system developed when we did kernel coding for SE Linux. While I will resist spewing technical jargon ( both because it would be rude and because I have forgotten half the jargon myself! ), I must say the experience was exhilarating. I landed my first summer internship (but which I declined a little while later) because I was able to write insta code. I also thoroughly enjoyed teaching a class of ~50 students. And the best moments were when we got the sadistic delight of crashing the students' programs by giving input that landed in the gray zone of validity, weirdity and insanity. Sorry everyone who was at the receiving end. I intended no harm!

Dil kya karey
jab kisi ko
kisi se pyar ho jaye...
jane kehan, kab kisi ko,
kisi se...

New photo blog - trip to Khopoli

2007-09-04T11:03:00.000+05:30

Another photoblog is here:
www.bhomsphotos.blogspot.com

An updated (and more verbal) description of the trip will arrive in a day or two. :-)

It's rocking...

A psychotic neurotic Equation

2007-08-31T00:32:00.000+05:30

Its not often that you will come across a person who possesses such an eclectic mix of qualities. You know na, I dance like a mosquito with fractured legs, if at all. In other cases, the resemblance is closer to a dead rat than any other known organism. And when I sing, it echoes the voice of a donkey with sore throat. So I desist, as far as possible, and it has been sufficient this far.
Stranger still are people who find, within this plethora of vices, a few qualities that attract them. I mean, yes, I've been known to crack PJs whose stink could be a potent chemical weapon. But what was it that made people fall for any of these (un)mentionable qualities? Tell Tell?
I've eaten so much of green grass in my childhood that green is my favorite color. I see everything with a tinge of green, whether it is the extra laddoo or extra secrets. I want all that and more.
The closest resemblance to my behaviour pattern would be a pseudo-random generating equation. "How nerdy/geeky!" you may exclaim. But still, Celine dion ke kutte ki awaaz mein, Thats the way it is. I can be unpredictable at times, especially when dealt with situations I don't want to be in.
One such situation is about truth. There's some kind of obsessive compulsive disorder (woh baar baar hath dhone ki bimari! ) built into my system. If I trust you, I expect you to trust me. If I am true to you, I expect the same from you. The catch is that the word 'true' can be treated to many an extreme limits. I guess I live in one of those extremeties. As Strato will readily testfy, I hate to be lied to. And the closer the liar, the more insurmountable the feeling of disbelief is. Lucky for me that life's crests and troughs have taught me to control my anger.
I also harbor very weird views about human behaviour. One of those is about relationships. To me, intimacy is like a spoonful of jam. The more the number of breads you spread it on, the thinner it gets. The more the number of people who know your deepest secrets, the lesser the special-ness of divulging that information becomes. Similarly for needs. The more the number of people you need to survive a day, the lesser the importance of each individual person.
The polygon I hate the most is a triangle. It has often hurt me, poking into my backside with a venomous tinge or tapping my peanut-sized brain into a migraine.
To top it all, patience is a virtue I never quite grew up with. I want more, and I want it faster. God knows how many surprises I must have divulged just because I couldn't wait for that special feeling to set in.
Thankfully, there exist people who appreciate the way I look at life.
To be misunderstood or taken for a ride ( in the negative sense of the word) could be the worst thing to happen!

Humrahi jab ho mastaana,
mauj mein ho dil deewana,
fir chalne wale rukte hain kehan...
-From the film Pukaar.

Some Serious Rumination

2007-08-24T21:04:00.000+05:30

This was a rather boring day. But enlightening nonetheless. Or may be reassuring.
Contrary to most/many people around me, I would rank myself in the believer-atheist grey zone. And an article I read got me thinking.

I do fathom the incredible complexity of this world. I have often thought and have long remained fascinated about The Origin (of Everything). A reference to that concept comes in the starting song of the famous, but now old serial 'The Discovery of India'. I am too ignorant to comment on how most religions treat it in depth, but I do have impressions. Christians assume the existence of a God so powerful that She/He created everything out of nothing. So do Hindus, though in a sense, I am confused whether Hinduism refers to one original God or three. My impression is that other religions also assume, because they cannot explain.

In fact, my conviction is that it is beyond us to explain the Origin. May be because our minds are programmed to think of time as a linear continuum, and so, we always ask what came before... as if 'before' was a completely defined and understood concept. A theory like Relativity, which brings fuzziness into many of our well-understood concepts of time and other dimensions may be an indication that there is a fuzziness in this trail of thoughts that we cannot cope with.

Nevertheless, I agree that there is something beyond us. And my posture is that luck, fate, karma, God (and all its synonyms) refer to that same one thing.
Also that He/She/It does not interfere with what we do. It is we who pray and feel good. It is we who seek silence in the name of God.

Religion, to that extent, is only a process - of trying to live with the deep uncertainty and the human inability to explain away so many things. Religion was made by humans, as much as math was. I remember a very interesting session we had in our Theory of Computation class where one of my favorite Profs asked a stunning question. He drew a '1' on the blackboard and asked us what it was. It took a bunch of 40 very very smart men and women some time and discussion to realise that the question is much deeper than what it appears to be. And I see a parallel in terms of religion. ( If you don't see it, challenge me to a discussion on '1'. And if you are satisfied, do treat me with a cone of a nice ice-cream. )

We realise that there is an underlying concept, and we choose a symbol to express it.

If religion is such a concept, why do people go mad about it?

You may ask, why is my peanut-sized brain thinking about this?

I started wondering about all this, when I stumbled upon this article. The sentence that struck a cord inside me was this: "She was no more exempt from the realization that religion is a human fabrication than any other person..." We may cringe at the concept that someone is an atheist, and we may bloat about our understanding of religion. But what is the big deal about understanding something created by another human being? Certainly, there wasn't any religion when humans walked around naked on this Earth? (Speaking of which, Playboy could give a whole new dimension to the cliche - "Back to the basics"! )

When someone says, "You should go to a temple every once so often, or you should light up an agarbatti every evening, because you should remember God everyday", I refuse to accept it. Rituals must be treated for what they are - processes with an objective. If lighting a candle does not make me happier, why should I waste the effort ? Just think about how much milk is wasted every year by people washing shiv-lings with milk. O you devout Hindu, did you ever think about donating that milk to someone hungrier and more in need of it than Lord Shiva?

I scoff at people who fast for religion but refuse to understand that God never asks them to be hungry. If they feel happy to go hungry, so be it. But to treat it like a commandment that must be followed or else all hell will break lose is something I will never ever accept.

Too much on this. But do read the article I mentioned above. Mother Teresa has been one of my heroes, and this article only makes me feel better about her. She was inside a rigid machinery in which, she had to profess a complete love of and faith in God - The God, as they know it. Kudos to you, Mother. Because you didn't stop tending for the poor even when inside you, there was a turmoil so deep that most people would have faltered at that stage. And therein lies the strength of your conviction.

Far from the madding man (Yours Truly), Strato must be busy attending business sessions in Phuket. How ironical . . . like someone using Shakti Kapoor to promote a brand of Rakhi ! Oh by the way, after many many years, I will be at home on a Raksha Bandhan. Just another ritual, but a very nice excuse for siblings to get cozy and express mutual affection. And trade gifts and mithai as well !

After having zapped all houseflies inside my cubicle and reading all decent articles on news websites, I am looking forward to a trip back home. A nice week spent away from work would be a good change from the routine.

I have many plans on what to do after shadi. And top of the line is a-trip-a-year plan. Long back, when I was a kid, my mom knew I would travel a lot. She defused all my plans of running away from home with a sharp eye and twisted ears. Her eyes and my ears, to be precise. But once out there in the hostel, I had my way. I surmise that by the time I am 50, I will have seen every country which is a member of the UNO and where Guns and Roses are not the most popular accessories.

Humko maloom hai,
Ishq masoom hai,
Dil se
Ho jati hain
Galtiyaan...
Sabra se ishq mehroom hai . . .

Salute, Gulzar saheb.

Arbit, random and foolish.

2007-08-13T23:40:00.000+05:30

Somethings cannot be shared. And I am not speaking of razors and small clothes.
There cannot be two first persons you think of for an SOS call - whether of the physical, spiritual or metaphysical kinds. That privilege in life is pure and unadulterated (Ek dam parachute nariyal tel ki tarah).
Sometimes life looks like it is alternatively playing the roles of a witch and (insert a rhyming word). I mean, how is one supposed to choose between a kuan and a khai? Or between jalebi and soan papdi? But given that we only have one mouth and one heart, sometimes we must. And it gets difficult in the least. Downright agonising in the worst.
As I write this in a moving taxi, I realise that the gentlemanliness is not all lost in the taxi drivers of Mumbai. This taxi driver just stopped and waved at a passerby giving him the way to cross. Kudos paa ji!
Meanwhile, this folded-in-two A5 sheet looks like the haldi ghati of a 1000 ants. It is the strongest form of encryption known to humankind, mastered by that species called doctors. Come to think of it, there are so many 'ycin's, 'amide's and 'oxes' that removing a few letters will get you a birth control pill instead of cough syrup.
Sometimes, you encounter something so precious, you don't want so share it with anyone. In this maddeningly complicated world, where chain reaction happen as often in relationships as they do in nuclear reactors.
While I try to adjust the Thorium rods in my reactor, aap sunein aaj ka gaana. . .

Aur aahista, keejiye baatein,
Dhadkanein koi
sun raha hoga...

Intellectually fool-filling

2007-08-11T07:17:00.000+05:30

Sometimes, you just stumble upon a series of interesting articles that gets you thinking. That challenges your brain. And it is best if it happens on a lazy Friday when you least want to work. Here is something to get you started:

http://www.foundread.com/

http://blog.pmarca.com/

http://www.startupdunia.com/

http://www.venturehacks.com/

The world is such an interesting place. The sub-prime woes are haunting the market. A simple but dedicated quest leads to dozens of emerging websites offering all kinds of services online. People (at least the skeptical kinds) have begun to doubt if India is an ideal destination for PE investments. IT companies are getting the shivers with rising Rupee. If you are wondering how it affects you, wait till the khichdi effect of all this strikes you in a few years from now. That is my doomsday prophecy.

Meanwhile, my own life is far from dynamic. My incessant curiosity is beginning to pester people.

I mean, I was born with two legs, two hands and an insatiable curiosity. Right from the name of the nurse who did the ‘ghor paap’ of bringing me to this earth to the price of so many items I probably won’t be buying in the next 4-5 years, I want to know it all. In between these lie questions which poke at people in a way that discomforts them. Probably also seems to imply either a sense of insecurity or mistrust. Both of which are not true.

I agree I have my doubts. The egg I bought yesterday wasn’t fresh like the shopkeeper promised. Chak De may not be a movie worth watching after all. My ideas might fail me, or vice versa. But in the end, like everybody else, my people (and I take the liberty of calling them ‘my’) are my greatest asset. I treasure them more than anything else I can think of. While I hate liars (absolutely) and can become incorrigibly possessive at times, I now know the value of that one thing people call trust.

By the way, Axis bank has lost the trust element by renaming itself. I wonder who came up with this idea because so far I can’t fathom what logic drove this decision. However, the recent efforts of HUL to juxtapose itself with HLL seem better off.

Just like that, another weekend is here. I shall be meeting up with ADNM (ref: this blog post). As I type this, I realize that Microsoft Word Dictionary is yet to include the word ‘blog’. Quite a basic error, I say.

I also plan to comment on ‘Not Just Jazz By The Bay’. I went there with Strato and a few other friends last weekend. The place rocked and so did our ears as we ended up seated right in front of the blazing speakers. All in all, I do not regret having spent 200 bucks to listen to it, and some more big bucks to eat inside that place. The Margaritas was particularly good, Sangria only so-so. In fact, I tasted better Sangria during my exchange days in Germany, and that was prepared by amateurs. Hic. Before any of this makes you think I am a seasoned drinker, let me tell you I am not. Till such time as a BIG heartbreak leaves me whining in a corner all knocked down, I don’t foresee the probability of getting addicted either.

The foreigners seemed to be enjoying the music, and if that is your criteria of judging a band, you can say it rocked. But this is like saying everything videshi, from chaddi to chammach, is better than local stuff. I am not at a liberty of commenting in any greater detail because my knowledge of Jazz is about as high and deep as my knowledge of clandestine CIA missions.

But I liked the experience, and if I earned more, I would probably frequent that place, whenever I wanted a sound drumming of my ear drums. Right now, Strato is doing that thing to perfection!

He may look no better than the tea-vendor on a chowpatty beach, but he sings well. Sample this:

ishq junoon jab hadh se badh jaaye - 2

hanste hanste aashiq suli chadh jaaye

ishq ka jaadu sar chadhkar bole

khoob laga lo pehre raste rab khole...

Ho Ho, Baap ban jaye...

2007-08-09T21:44:00.000+05:30

Now I have been dealing with so many Chinki entities, I could as well name my -5 year old (or may be -6 or -7 year old) kid Zhing Shu Lee. As you can see, the gender won't matter! (And the next one, Yors Tru Lee! )
By the way, did you know that the names of 80% cities (and mohallas and gaons) in China end with 'aio'. Did you know that a major international bank has its origins in the Chinese opium trade? That Daimler Chrysler makes a cool 200 billion US dollars a years and Wal-Mart 350?
Life has been as revealing as Sharon Stone (don't ask which movie!). Weekdays seem to be passing by as fast as TGV trains. My speed of working has been surpassed by a limping snail. Mumbai's rain Gods drank diuretics thinking they were length enhancing pills - and we can see the after showers!
College life seems to be farther away than the poor ex-planet Pluto. I have been ogling at routers and we will get an internet connection soon. Last weekend I splurged a cool 20K. That is more than total miscellaneous expenses in the 5 months before that. But khair, I am earning now, and one only gets his or her first salary once in his or her life. So I bought nice nice gifts for people at home. And the much needed batteries for my old camera.
A message to all those people still in the college phase of life: Enjoy. Learn. Do what you can. When the office life begins, you will remember these days and long for them.
I spend 4.5 days waiting for the weekend and 0.5 day ruing the onset of another work week. I wake up at 8 am in the morning every day and sleep at 12.
Yeh mujhe kya ho gaya hai...
Meanwhile, my heart is working overtime and my mind has taken a sabbatical.
Once too often, my lost-in-thought phase has been broken by Strato's reminders that it is not good to stare at people. Especially other people's girl friends, even if they are wearing very curious things.

And here's a very interesting play of words...
"Aap jaisa koi, meri zindagi mein aaye,
to baap ban jayee,
ho ho,
baap ban jaye!"

Kuch aise pal...

2007-07-28T21:37:00.000+05:30

This was one of those classic days when I wonder what karam I did in the last janam to deserve such a treatment at God's hands. I mean, sit inside a taxi and get stuck in a horrible traffic jam. Sit inside an auto and roam around for change, and in doing so, take an hour to travel a distance normally traversed in 30 mins. Raise my hands in despair and hear the thud of my hand hitting the ceiling fan. Ouch. Walk out of the office and get drenched in the rain that started barely a few minutes back. Choose local trains to reduce travel time, and encounter a fully packed bogie.
Sometimes life just seems to fail me. It feels like the happy things I think about when I go to sleep are a mirage. And the day after tomorrow, that mirage will fade away in the coldness of things.
Why? Why me? I ask.
I think its the typical human tendency. Selective Amnesia. I have forgotten all the times when I have felt at the top of the world. And I have been blessed. Very well, indeed. But God has this habit of poking a needle into the expanding balloon of expectations.
Sometimes, I do indeed deserve to be treated better. Hai na?

Tujhse naraaz nahi zindagi,
hairaan hoon mein,
hairaan hoon mein
Tere massoom sawalon se,
pareshan hoon mein...

Bas. Bahut ho gaya. Baki gana radio per suno.

And again, and again...

2007-07-27T23:53:00.000+05:30

Hmm. Hamare ghar mein, whatever be the size of the problem, the solution comes in BIG size. So for killing a cockroach ka bachcha, we have to buy one bottle of HIT. That kid cockroach now playing with apsaras, the HIT bottle is lying unused. Same with a lot of other things. Why doesn't everything come in satchet?
Of late, I have been reading some interesting stuff. I have subscribed to a few newsletters ( Daniel Primack - PE Wire, and PV Sahad). I also read about second life and wanted to try it out, but downloading it using a data card takes longer than I can wait for it. I bought a book (ghissu wali book hai, naam mat poochna!) and try to read it. I have printouts of a puzzle that I try once in a while.
Meanwhile, the only thing in our house higher than my tall room mate is the stack of our dirty clothes! I hate to wash dirty linen (in public or otherwise) but I guess I am left with no other option!
I have a lot of catching up to do. Waise, in the maze of world wide (spider web), a certain arachnid girl chose to call me chotu. Now, I am taller than the average Indian male. Am old enough to be called uncle by college going girls - but I don't need any black colored dye, thank you! It feels kind of weird. First I can't place you, and then you call me something more suited to two year olds. . . Kaun ho bhayeee?
Yaar yeh internet per dost banane ka chakker bahut ajeeb hai. Kind of like, raaste mein jo mila uske gale lag liye. Khair, not that I have not used internet/chat to my advantage, but I never quite understood the concept very well.
Chalo, abhi sone ka time hai. Darshak log yeh gana sunein...

Likhe jo khat tujhe, woh teri yaar mein,
hazaron rang ke sitare ban gaye...

Jaane kitne dinon ke baad,

2007-07-26T21:44:00.000+05:30

Gulley mein aaj Chand nikla... or so goes the popular song.
Well, Janey kitne dinon ke baad, I hope, our housemaid will come for her chores. Its a pity how we have begun to depend on her. A few days of her absence have thrown our lives into a wild (and stinky and dirty) gear. Meanwhile, I am going through a long and deep ritual called life. Interspersed are those beautiful days called weekends, when I ketch up with Strato. Pre-Monday blues start on Sunday and the weekend spirit fills the air on Thursday night! Effectively, its a 4.5 day week. In a format borrowed from Chashmish, I will just jot down what I have been going through:
-clearly, I have acquired this habit of trying to fit every kind of written expression into bullets.
-I have begun to appreciate how missing out small details can lead to big errors. All my life, I have been known for making silly stupid mistakes. Forgetting people's names, adding instead of subtracting, confusing people's gender in the most awkward of situations, blurting out replies that dazed the audience and portrayed me as possessing an IQ level equaled only by Mallika, Paris and Pamela.
-I have been earning money now, and spending it as well. On flights, clothes and food mostly. Am going to splurge on buying gifts for people in a short while. A month back, I bought my first Swarovski. Can't describe in words how proud I felt of myself!
-I have been drawing up a lot of dreams, and intend to follow those up. I wonder how I can go on living my life, wondering once every fifth second whether I really want to keep on living the way I am.
-What makes people jealous? Which sinister chemical is it? Mujhe naam batao, mein uska khoon pee jaunga. What makes people lie? Us chemical ko to mein kachcha chaba jaunga.
-Love is not enough to live life with. You need cereals, milk, egg, bread, butter, a housemaid, laptop, cellphone and soan papdi as well.
-Sometimes, I really wish I could control the way I react to things. My own behavior at times makes me feel like a stranger to myself. How convoluted, hai na? But who do you complain to about yourself? Except yourself!

And so it has been pronounced. The maid ain't coming. In two days, the police will come because the neighbors will complain of the foul smell. My deodrant bottle will be used up in cleaning up the air here. There will be no more clothes to wear and I shall have to stay indoors. The Rin sales agent will request us to buy a bucket full of their stuff. Life will come to a standstill.

Zinda rahe doston and yarron,
to fir milenge.

Hum is baat se darte hue,
har roz sote hain,
wapis subeh jagenge
to gulistan nahi milega

kaddu hain hum
watan hai
ek gulistan hamara. . .

Radio kharab hai...

2007-07-10T23:27:00.000+05:30

And just when I thought I could eat tonnes and tonnes of food without the slightest worry of gaining weight, I was proven wrong.
You know, there are many reasons why one should avoid eating good food.
-it is a bad thing to get used to (apart from mom, tea, liquour-type things and sleeping pills). phir jab achcha khana nahi milta to dil mein aur pet mein, donon jagah barabar dard hota hai.
-you have to spend more on new clothes as your older ones start to become too tight for your expanding girth. Not only that, the new clothes have to cover more surface area and hence they are costlier. However, that logic definitely does not apply to girls on screen, otherwise the Mallikas of the world would get their clothes for free (or almost, same difference!).
-morning walks are not a reliable means to tackle this heavy menace. On the day of your first morning walk, you sing 'jhoom barabar jhoom' in your office after lunch. And organize a labour strike asking a siesta break of 1 hour post lunch. On the second day, you decide to sleep a little longer in the morning(and everyone knows what that means!)
-you turn around to see who is following you and it turns out that it was your bum which, like the Hutch wala kutta, follows wherever you go
-a few seconds before you reach a place, you pot belly is already there.
-tying the knots of your own shoes will become impossible. And a lot of other aspects of your life will be affected beyond repair. Ab details mat poochna.
-you will become the favorite target of bhookhe bhediye machchars who will suck all the blood, for which you had to do the mehnat of eating and chewing. These machchars, the have such a easy, albeit somewhat short and snappy, life. Hai na?

But before all these nightmares haunt me, let me have my mouthful of sohanpapdis and all the sweet desi ghee filled sweets. Its such an irony, all the most desirable things come with disclaimers.

Strato has finally found her sweet abode. Many thanks to almighty God.

Many thanks to silent supporters and other people. I received a scrap with very kind words.

Thanks people :-)
You know, its a very tough war, this war against sloth. And those 5 more minutes of sleep that always lasts an hour and sends all your appointments (morning walk among other things) to hell shall always remain a mystery. Its easy to come back from office, watch TV and sleep. But the thought that there are at least some more computers where this web page will be opened (and read, hopefully) keeps me going.

Bas, aaj koi gana nahi bajega. Radio kharab hai.

Cool gang and more...

2007-07-05T20:55:00.000+05:30

ADNM - She is one of those rare people to have so many alphabets in her character. A frequent ex-work -companion with resemblance to Ninja turtle when happy and a golu fish when unhappy, breaker of many a heart in college, sentimental (meaning both senty and mental), quick like a rat, possessing a keen sense of saying the right words and choosing the right moments, the hidden delta function of TQ and much more, enough to fill many blog servers.

AnSi - The inspiration for the latest addition to OED - 'pedophile', his love(carnal, platonic or otherwise) for trees and trekking, razor sharp comments, bright prospects at a career in driving (taxis and autos), the soft (and dirty?) side of his personality, feelings for a certain girl one year above his stature, a nickname which stuck to him very well and fondness for a certain Mr Resham-miya are all too well known.

GauK - May Lord save me from his stinking jokes. A distinct way of saying 'Ta Da Dum Pum', the ter-ter jokes, annoying but haunting repartee, aversion to hygiene in any form, love of beer and many more memories still linger on while the man himself inhabits the galis of Gurgaon and instigates the kalis of Gurgaon.

JoX - He croons when he croons, and junta swoons. People are fazed not just by his heavy character. He has An appetite for tasty food, talent for acting, knowledge of eating joints,love for bikes, bad luck with being 'kabab mein haddi', and so on.

MonK - Acronyms can be poor reflections for people's characteristics. A heart of gold can be hidden by hands that pat and slap with alarming frequency! God knows I can't write anymore than this, for fear of life and more!

NiRa - He has featured before, as the CoffeeMate! He is my room mate and I refuse to reveal insider details except his love for milk and a generous heart.

Shawa - She belongs to the queendom of Jallandhar and Patiala. The one to evoke a riot among the turbaned lot with her 'adayein', this one has broken many a record on hygiene. Scared of lizards, fond of kids, storehouse of secrets, a fine example of chupee-huee-rustam, student of the TQ department, a proud mausi and a dear friend. Need I say more?

Shsh - Her stature is a poor proxy for her sharp wit and high TQ sense. Her hallmarks include deep Marathi instincts, love for fish, bikes and adventure, eagerness to be part of many things (and the capability as well), pokey but welcome nose and 'patli kamar' by her own confession.

That I wrote so many words can only mean two things - I am missing the good ol' days and I have more time than work.

Phir kya ho kya khabar,
dekha hai kisne kal...

How Time Flies by

2007-07-05T10:40:00.000+05:30

How time flies by! Only bats brimming with Glucon D can fly faster.
"Yeh duniya ke sabse tez udne walon mein se ek hai" - in the typical (and soft) Discovery Channel style.
I have become a regular office goer - 'daftar wala babu' as my sister chose to call me. Hmm. And an epitome of laziness and sloth as well. I mean, I work when I work, but it is not often that I work.

In the loooooooooong period that has passed by since I last posted anything new on this blog, numerous heart and teeth shattering things have happened. People have lost valuable stuff, and that includes trust in the naive assumption that the world is one nice place.
In fact, I guess it is a lesson learnt the real hard way. When we are in college, everything in life seems so hunky dory. The maximum trouble one faces is deciding what to do with free time, how to avoid the prying neighbours and suspecting security guards and in the worst case, somehow staying awake through a dose of lectures. Some profs in my college are ambassadors for sleeping pills.

I have finally stabilized in a rented home. Shudder. Mumbai real estate is a real pagalkhana. So many people paying so much money for a place which gets filled with drainage water. Dingy, rickety, claustrophobic houses being sold at terribly high rates.
Another indication of mehengai is the price of mangoes here. Contrast with Lucknow where, right at this moment, one gets fine dussehri mango for Rs 14 a kg. Ok lets make it 20. And in Mumbai, at that price point, I guess one can only manage to buy mango peel.

I have been planning to do a post (as in, write a post) on our 'cool gang'. It is a bunch of people ranging from matchstick-defying to Adnan Sami-defying. Watch out for this space.

Ajeeb daastan hai yeh,
kehan shuroo kehan khatam
Yeh manzilein hain kaun si,
na tum samajh sake na hum....

Apna gharbaar

2007-05-20T18:57:00.000+05:30

So far it is only a rented place I fondly call 'ghar'. And there aren't enough interested people to make it a bar. Hic. But its a nice friendly place. A tad too friendly I believe.
The transition from a college bhola bhala bachcha to an earning, "set types" according to some, and consumer of white goods [by which I don't mean gai ka doodh] happened over night. A generous heart, a mighty luck and you have it. AC wacey bhi lagwa liya. [ bas racy aur lacy ki bari hai ] If you get what I mean, don't tell. If you dont get what I mean, don't ask. Time will tell.
I miss the old innocent days. When I used to be college types. When little kids wouldn't accidently call me 'uncle'. When school going girls seemed too young, and PG girls too old.
[ Now : working and shirking girls are too old, college-going girls are too young ]
Its an interesting experience, going to numerous shops without intending to buy anything. Asking the shopkeeper informed questions to indicate a genuine curiosity. Beating the heating with cool AC air, and when the sweat has dried away, vanishing into thin air. Now is the right time to do it. In college days, the shopkeeper would instantly recognise the lack of interest in buying, and a few years from now, when pillow will cease to be a constant companion, it will become a matter of ijjat. And life and death.
In some sense, we still have a lot of conservative values. Whether it is for good or bad is a question only hindsight can decide. What values you ask me. Values that we display day in and day out.
"Oh they are living together. Unke parents ko pata nahi hoga"
"He dropped out of college. Fail ho gaya kya"
"Naukri lag gayee. Ab shadi kar lo"

I get too restless at times. It becomes next to impossible for me to keep on waiting. Reminds me of one of those positive negatives people like to write as a weakness on their CV - " I become impatient for results". I never can explain the situation in rational terms. May be, I could say, the flow in my stomach crosses Reynold's limit and becomes turbulent. The mind stops attending to anything else. It starts wandering at the speed of light and time stops. Ab isse jyada IIT mein padha nahi.
But thats what it is. A situation unfathomable to the strong willed and strong hearted. For kamzor dil wale like us, whose parents hated the taste of Safola, there is no recourse. Except to pray to God that time will help.

A nice ghazal:
Hoshwalon ko khabar kya, bekhudi kya cheez hai....

Shauk Absorbers and Fools in anniversaries.

2007-04-18T00:59:00.000+05:30

I had been cribbing about getting board at home with a complete lack of work to do. I was naadaan! After 5 days of separation from internet-ben, I finally checked my emale to find a shauk. Miebank had decided to paripone my entry into the world of salaried men. O bhayee. What a rush yaar! But like other shauks, I had to absorb this one as well. And now, this bhola bhaala bachcha will enter the grind of corporate juggernaut in less than a week.
Last Sunday, my bhaiya celebrated his first marriage anniversary. How time flies by, we all [at least the rest of us] say! And there were so many bookays, one whole tabull was filled with fools.
What do you do when :
-someone asks you, "Why are you", instead of the more popular expression. Actually to this one, you could say, "Cogito Ergo Sum", but every reader worth his/her TQ will agree that the question treads on a dangerous territory. The details and further thoughts are best banished even before conception!
-you gift someone flowers and she/he takes more care of them than you ever thought possible. And the bookey you thought would last a few days is not discarded till it really must be!
-you see people living in conditions you had only seen on TV or in movies. The filth and dirt strikes a deep cord inside you, and you wonder how humans can get acclimatized to accepting such a treatment and still appearing grateful.
-you can't lose something for everything or everything for something, but something is everything while everything is only something
-you must choose between jalebi, watermelon and rossagulla!

An Esteem LXi with very low esteem has held its poise under my driving in the cantonment area. While driving, I had to floor the brakes whenever a truck appeared, whenever I got to less than 5 meters from the behind of any human being and whenever the navigator said anything more complicated than take left or take right. Like, "look, there's a car coming from the left". Luckily, jaan aur maal ki koi honey nahi hui.

From the movie Anwar: (link to full lyrics of the song)
...

mujhse yeh har ghadi, mera dil kahe
tum hi ho uski aarzoo,

mujhse yeh har ghadi, mere lab kahe
teri hi ho sab guftagoo

baatein teri itni haseen, mein yaad inko jab karta hoon
phoolon si aaye, khusboo

...

Also:

...

kshama ko pigalne ka armaan kyun hai???
patange ko jalne ka armaan kyun hai???
isi shaqt ka intehaan zindagi hai
isi shaqt ka intehaan zindagi hai

...
Its a wonderful song from the movie Anwar. Really recommended for movie buffs, normal human beings and gundas!

Lazy bijnessmen and long walks.

2007-04-10T12:43:00.001+05:30

April 08 2007

Amaa yaar, mein pareshan ho gaya. Badi takalluf mein daal diya hai nawabi style wale in dukandaron ne.

The keyboard cable of my desktop was as helpless under the heavy handling of ‘Safe’xpress as a bollywood heroine in the garage of Shakti Kapoor. Bebas. Laachaar. And the nearest computer shopwalla guy refuses to solve the issue expediently. Till then, I am sharpening my skills in Solitaire and Minesweeper. And resolving channel conflicts at home. And spending a crazy amount of time surfing through channels without watching them. And so on.

I like to go on long walks [in the background: zindagiiiiiiii, kaisi hai paheli haiye….]. To counter the attack of the forces of boredom, I went on a walking spree this evening. Mom claims it must have been six kilometers while I only attach a more modest four kilometer tag to it. I had almost reached the point where they say, “Thank you for your visit to Lucknow” when I saw another hoarding which read “Ghar per log aapka intezar kar rahe hain”.

But try it once if you have never done it. Stop wondering about where you are going. Not advisable if you often forget the way back from your toilet to kitchen. But otherwise, it is fun. Just walking, without concerns, time limit or destination. Brisk walking, almost to the point where the only pedestrians who overtake you are chain snatchers. Tiring, stiffening your calf muscles, but not painful. The advantage of being alone on such a walk is that it makes the task of tackling the traffic easier, especially if you are traversing through the narrow roads of old Lucknow. As Strato once said, you can’t help some people who will pop up by your side. Never mind. But yeah, unless you are my better half, do it alone. Oops.

Ridiculous. That is how I greet the notion that fresh, raw oysters, sprinkled with salt and pepper could be a delicacy. Let the channels show famous connoisseurs of dining and wining eat with relish oysters, new-born crocodiles, fish eyes and ostrich organs. Doesn’t matter if ‘refined’ people call me lacking in taste. I am content with calling Catwoman the woman without substance. Except in some places.

From the movie Inteha:

Dhalne lagi hai raat, koi baat keejiye

Kat jayegi yeh raat, koi baat keejiye

Hai zindagi ka sath, koi baat keejiye

Kat jayegi yeh raat, koi baat keejiye

Jane tanhayee, humse kya keh rahi hai

Dil ki gehrayee, humse kya keh rahi hai

Ek ek pal ke saath, koi baat keejiye

Ban ker rahegi baat, koi baat keejiye ...

Summary: koi baat keejiye.

News from the bored-room.

2007-04-10T12:42:00.000+05:30

April 07, 2007

“Khabar ko todte hue” scream all news channels. All day long, poor souls keep breaking news. And each bit of news is repeated until you can recount the sequence in which security guards will move in the footage, the order in which the headlines will be read and the crooked question that netaji will parry away.

My own discovery, meanwhile, is that there are at least one thousand crappy, absolutely unwatchable movies for each worth watching. There are some good programs though they also get repeated around 5 times in the week. Discovery’s favorites are snakes, crocs and sharks. But I have begun to like MaxX, Ripley’s, Guinness, KBC II and Laughter Challenge. And I have lost count of Prison Break.

The likes of Van Diesel and Stallone have made it look like breaking a man’s skull with one solid punch is easier than watching TV. Or breaking news.

From the movie Fanaa:

Yeh saazish hai boondon ki

Kuch khwahish hai chup chup si

Dekho na… dekho na…

Chinese torture.

2007-04-10T12:40:00.000+05:30

April 06, 2007

A particular channel has gone into a mad frenzy of showing Chinese martial arts movies [are other genres available?] Every movie begins with a funny casting. Jin Hu as Lu Jong. Mao Lee as Jen Ton. Sounds like a random collection of one [or at most two] syllable sounds. Imagine the gujju version of that famous person : Ang Sang Su Chche. [Majaa maa].

To mothers around the world wary of my charming skills: please be calm. While circumstantial evidence can prove anything, I am no Shakti Kapoor. And daughters around the globe are safe. The PYT killer stands tamed, having himself fallen prey to a PYT. The PYT, I should say!

The idea of not having to return back to IIMA campus sounds as ridiculous as watching Scary Movie 3 at home. And as desirable, at this hour. By the way, it is on air right now but a squad of mahila morcha has captured the TV post. All sorts of saas bahu sounds can be heard in that vicinity, and I am steering clear of that area.

Working for a name that is known among common people has its disadvantages. People ask awkward questions. Someone asked me “Which branch are you posted in?” when she got to know that I will be working in a bank. I somehow diverted the discussion, confident that in her throat, waiting to be emitted, were the words: “Humein home loan chahiye”. At times like these I wish I worked for Hun Jin Tao Corporation which manufactured unmentionable somethings. Due apologies if something exists by that time.

Also important: Today pappu turns 23. Its time people stopped defaming the Farex baby by likening Pappu’s laughing buddha posture to a Farex baby smile. For the uninitiated, this refers to a comparison in Images 2007, the yearbook published at IIMA for the batch of 2007. Strato seems to enjoy the comparison, and as cute and lovely as it may sound coming from her, my heart goes out for the poor farex baby. “Chal hat, pervert” I hear her snub me!

Beghar in my dreams.

2007-04-10T12:39:00.000+05:30

April 05, 2007

These days, I dream of Chumree. And I must sympathize with non-Mumbaikars who might confuse Chumree to be a distant cousin of Chameli. Lord forbid, mein abhi tak seedha sadha bachcha hi hoon.

I dream of a roof to live under and protect my izzat, or whatever remains of it. Fir usmein ghar grihasti bhi basani hai.

And before other things are said and ignored, or lost in air, Pappu pass ho gaya. Finally no more attending classes till someone declares that I am not conversant with alphabets and numerals. HSBC has decided to let me in, and pay me a hefty sum for ridding their office of houseflies and mosquitoes. Poor souls. And I even have a plan B in case there are no insects left to spat.

Extreme worklessness, I have discovered, is the surest way to madness. And I have been trying hard to fend off the latter. As of the former, till such time as the GoodKnights and Caspers are doing their job well in Mumbai, I am workless. As workless as a dead ant. And I don’t even have formic acid to pinch and pain the humans around me.

I laid my hands on Mark Tully’s collection of short stories. While I admire his love for India, his account is uninformative for all of us who have been brought up here. It is also bland and lacks the juice to keep the readers’ attention transfixed. Contrast that with Cat O Nine Tails by Jeffrey Archer. While there is nothing so magnificent about the stories, his storytelling elevates them from mediocre to much more readable.

Off late I have also been wondering if the carrots and fish I have eaten so far would suffice to stave off the danger of eyeglasses from a hefty dose of TV. I guess God decided to compensate for the previous few years that I spent almost without watching TV except for brief spells. Maa kasam, and many people including the likes of Strato would vouch for this. Meri nazar Rampuri churi se bhi tez hai. Door door ki cheezein dhoondh leti hain.

Before I met Strato, I used to be able to spot interesting targets from as far away as a mile. If only I had applied in time to Guinness-wala bhai who keeps all those records. Subuk Subuk, ab to bahut der ho gayee hai.

Phases and Faces.

2007-04-10T12:37:00.000+05:30

April 04, 2007

Life has so many phases – some completely unforgettable ones. And it is surprisingly similar with faces. Many of them and some unforgettable ones.

You know na, I write arbit stuff to avoid writing senty stuff. [In the true Diamond comics style: subuk subuk ]

I attended my second convocation in a little less than 2 years. I am now officially an engineer and a manager. Can feel my chest become [oops – rhyming can be a dangerous business!]. Rephrase: Can feel my chest inflate with false pride. The convocation at IITK was held inside the AC auditorium. Here at IIMA, they decided to do things their own sweet (and hot) way. So the convocation was held in the open grounds, with every recipient exuding more sweat than either pride or happiness. I sympathize profusely with Dr Singhania’s right palm.

There was a method even in this madness. Just preceding the convocation was the group photograph session for the batch of 2007. And it is a miracle how they fit in 300 robed men and women in such a small space and kept them there for deep roasting that lasted a full hour. Anything that followed this had to be a relief for all the harried souls and thus, the convocation ended up being more relieving than it would otherwise have been.

Life suddenly seems as barren as Gobi desert. And as exciting as gobhi dessert. No easy access to internet, no recourse to DC++ and no way to pain friends into releasing a deep argh. No waiting for the red blinker on the right bottom screen proclaiming “Chitthi aayee hai aayee hai …” in a tone that would be understood better by a family of modems and aliens than Pankaj Udhas. But I am still wondering how unpredictable life can be. And how it can land big surprises bang on your head. Like and me Strato landing up at the same place. In the typical McDonald-ian style, I’m lovin’ it.

I also have a lot in my agenda for the next month or so. Matlab bahut ho gaya. On so many occasions it has happened to me. I had a bike and a charming lady to escort. But I lacked the necessary skills. And it can be devastating for any man worth his salt. You see, I never quite got the time or occasion to learn to ride a bike. So I will now try to make up for my past sins. Faizabad aur Lucknow walon, side ho jao. Main aa raha hoon. [“Main nikla, o gaddi le ke …” playing in the background ]

There’s also a connection between me and watches. Matlab ek hi saans mein Vyom, watch aur gift bol do to Jupiter mein explosion ho jayega. I have gifted five watches, bought two and been gifted two. Phew. All this even before I have earned anything working full time. The latest one comes from Bhaiya and Bhabhi, a combined belated birthday and placement gift. Ooooh la la la.

The "Who Am I"s and EMIs

2007-03-24T17:29:00.000+05:30

This month marks the end of my life as a student. Not to imply that I have done much in the name of studying in the past 6 months. I have seen many countries, enjoyed many movies, spent many hours just strolling around, paining people [and some people in particular] and so on. Padhaku types apun kabhi thaeech nahi. Woh to zalim zamana aur RG batchmates jinhone mujhe ghisne per majboor kara.
I see a lot of super-ambitious raring-to-go people around me. I also see many corporate czars in the making. I wonder what I will make.
Meanwhile, I have been poked with the question - "Aap kaun hain".
Hindi wala hmmm with index finger on my chin. To yeh lo mera jawab. I am-
-an electron in a high energy orbital
-a software engineer with no experience of working in a software company, half-baked knowledge of project management, tons of experience in Java coding, a very bad taste for giving names to variable, functions, source codes and people. And yes, I can see the hands rising in agreement to this.
-an MBA with little skills but many dreams - both wet and dry kinds.
-Bhom the Bhunderfull. I have had success in surprising people, endearing some, distracting others, making deep friends and enraging them and getting people to trust and rely on me. I have a distaste for tyrants and morally weak humans.
-an attention-grabber, a greedy hog, a jealous man.
-a lover of jalebis, watermelon, icecreams, salads, chicken [the cooked kind!], puzzles and a few more things not suitable for mention in these pages.
-a hater of cigarette smell
-the maker of fine omlettes, delicious egg-fried rice and egg curry and a cooking enthusiast
-a man-eater when hungry, but in general finicky about food, according to popular accounts
-an ardent gifter and incidental shopper
-Jonty Rhodes ka jani dushman because he made people expect so much from fielders. As you can understand, even a sleepy kachua would be better at fielding than I am.

Bas bahut ho gaya. Enough about this luchcha lafanga.

The transition from a learning phase to an earning phase is fraught with so many worries. And my major concern is if the earning is going to be as superficial as the learning has been! I hope not! Plus so many EMI considerations. Too many things to be bought blinking on the big radar of this small mind.

Tum chale jaaoge
to sochenge
Humne kya khoya
humne kya paaya

Tumko dekha
to yeh khayal aaya
Zindagi dhoop
tum ghana chaya....

Who am I ?

2007-03-22T20:44:00.000+05:30

When I chose a course titled "Leadership Vision Meaning and Reality", I expected it to be 80% gaseous. I wasn't disappointed! The upside, however, was that I ended up buying a lot of books that I want to read but which I wouldn't otherwise have bought. Books like 'The Art of War', 'Things Fall Apart' and so on. In umpteen sessions of that course, the same questions emerged, 'Who Am I' being one of the most popular ones.

In that stream of thought, I wonder about myself. What makes me the way I am? Now that could be answered using as many words as there are water drops in Indian Ocean. Or hair in Laloo's ears. But I will venture forth and complete an unfinished task. The task of recounting some of my most memorable experiences at IIMA.

*Working late into the night, brain storming about some case. Especially the cases in Operations Management which required more brains to solve than it is physically possible to fit inside the human skull. We worked as group of five or six, and it was a team experience I can never forget in my life.

*The post-lunch blitzkreig. Announced in the form of a short quiz. Notice put up on the PGP notice board. I bet IIMA recruits some very fine people into its PGP office. People who are smart enough to fox 250+ bright minds of this country with as little as a 15 minute quiz. Frequently, the quiz notice came as a complete surprise. Sometimes the quiz itelf was a surprise, sometimes the subject of quiz was a surprise. Imagine waking up one fine morning and learning that you belong to the royal clan of Macau and you are heir to a few million dollars. Oops, I almost fainted at the thought. The quiz experience was similar.

*Strolling around in the campus, with something buzzing inside your head. It pacified all types of worries - acidity in stomach from overeating on a friends treat, crush on a batchmate that you insist is more than just a passing emotion, thoughts about career in a saabun-bechne wali company etc etc. On those walks, we discovered a shady lamp which switched off whenever a lady passed by it, the reclusive corner in the garden, queer things about faculty homes and their sleeping habits.

*Giving gifts. Now I love giving gifts. No. Actually I love seeing the expression in people's eyes when they get an unexpected gift. And it doesn't matter what you give. A swatch watch or a moco choco. The feeling of those trembling limbs when you show them the gift or the glitter in their eyes. I am convinced that these are worth much more than the bucks I spent on them.

*The various trips with our 'cool-gang'. I went to Diu, Kashid and finally Goa. All of these were immensely enriching experiences. Bonds were made or strengthened, water was splashed and some really beautiful photos were clicked.

*Sleeping in the MIPM class. It was in this class that I had my deepest sleep of the day.

*The placement process. For me personally, it has been a long and deep drawn process. I can look back at it with no regrets. And somehow I end up seeing a divine conspiracy. That remains to be seen though. Meanwhile, the IIMs are undergoing the 'cricket' phenomenon. The frenzy and unrealistic notions that are levied on our cricketing stars are also attached to IIMs. A friend almost gave me a ransom call, thinking since I am an IIMA alumnus, I must have landed a crore+ salary. When I told him the real figure, he offered 50% of his own salary to me!
Jokes apart, notions built around IIMs are seriously inflated. To quote the press release from IIMA, the average domestic salary was Rs 14 lac per annum. Period.

Sometimes I feel like an excited electron oscillating between various quantum levels. And Strato has often been at the receiving end of this almost-cosmic energy. Right now however is the time for me to relax. And for Strato to recuperate.

I recently bought my first pair of sunglasses. The last I bought cost me Rs 35, so it took me a lot of convincing to spend on a pair of Fasttracks. I had these on during the entire Goa trip, but luckily they are not from the Fall collection. So ladies around there weren't swooning and falling like they show in that ad. I am seedha sadha, sadhu sanyasi ki category ka ladka as you all must know by now.

Amongst other new things, I also drove a Honda Activa for the first time. With Strato sitting behind me, I was enjoying the ride as she almost screamed with fear everytime any vehicle with more than 2 wheels passed by. A recommended experience for everyone - in the driver's seat, to be sure.

Dekha ek khwab to yeh silsile hue
Door tak nigaah mein hain gul khile hue....

Sometimes:

2007-02-25T12:50:00.000+05:30

The Heart refuses to believe what the Mind knows is true. That jalebi rich in ghee is bad for health. That the roadside chaat is injurious to health. That chemical changes are permanent. That people forget each other and time can weaken the strongest bonds - laconic, ionic or platonic. That putting good money after bad is counter productive. That you should not invest everything you have in one stock. Or one dream.
Bad things happen to good people and vice versa. The prize you did not deserve but won nevertheless. The heart shattering words that tore through your heart like a pet rabbit tears a white bedsheet. The hole in your heart caused by a ricocheting bullet, angry genes or a much-feared conversation.
You are so hungry you can't eat or you are so tired you can't sleep or you are so sad you can't speak. Life comes with myriad tricks. More tricks than the grandest magicians. And there are no rules. Just when you thought you knew how to tackle the fickle beast, it grows a third horn and (honks it?) hits you hard. Somehow life seems to know where it hurts the most. Those who have suffered from migraine, stones in the urinary tract or arethrosyncomphalynxcaricitis [ ok, just call it a heart break!] would know.
You really need a vent to empty your heavy heart or heavy bladder.
Scepticism and pessimism join hands to create a self-fulfilling prophecy. Bad things happen just because you think they will happen. Or may be because you let them happen. The ice cream stain on your favorite shirt, the weak-knee syndrome or the perpetual khich khich in your throat.
Star rated movies go by the most innocous names. Like '18 and confused'. Or 'Deep Throat'.
Thinking is the most tortuous thing to do. More tortuous than listening to a certain cough-and-cold-infected singer, hanging upside down on a hook attached to your belly button, or seeing your own heart getting pierced.
Undervaluation manifests itself in the most unexpected ways. "Your pen is not worth it". "That movie is not worth waiting for". "That thing is not worth getting angry about".
You should let go. Of your sweetest dream, your favorite (but now undersized) jeans, the chappal whose battered sole is now wafer thin, and a lot of other things.

Of Obsessions and excitements!

2007-02-14T18:57:00.000+05:30

Happy 'V' day to all who are blessed, and best wishes to all who are waiting to be blessed !

I was very pleasantly surprised by a gift from Strato. Err, umm ... the non-typical-of-Strato tone apart, the packaging was wonderful. It had all the redness and pinkness thrown in for full measure and words that could easily make the angriest hearts melt. Reminds me of the old Dhara ad in which the sulking boy gets oh-so-excited at the mention of the word Jalebi. Hmm...
I had been somewhat sulking at her for making me wait for lunch. Meanwhile, the charge of the hunger brigade had been romping full blast inside my tummy.
I am told I have a way with words. Where there is a word, there is a way - what else can I say? Once before, I have been complimented on my ability for succint descriptions. And the compliment-giver was one of my favorite profs at IITK. She taught us Psychology, and in the first mid term she had asked a rather original question. If the structural psychologists and some-other-baffling-name psyhologists were to argue, what would be their points of agreement and disagreement? I believe I wrote a somewhat more animated description of the argumentation than the prof expected - may be, there were even a few murders at the heat of the moment ! Anyway, when I saw my evaluated answer script, I felt great reading the superscription - "You know how to write well. However, you should know what you are writing."
In other news, I have picked up some obsessions. While codebreaker-a-day is an old routine, now I do numerous sudokus a day. Also a codebreaker and a crossword. And the latest fad is loop-the-loop.

Just the day before, results were announced for the Poll-of-the-year. It set the mood right for thinking about the next inflection point in our lives. Uncertainty eats into my head and drives me mad. And there are only few things that can act as consolation.

Sometimes it surprises me. Sometimes it disturbs me. Whether 2 years put into MBA from an elite institution were worth it or not is more or less decided by the job you finally land. A rapid process, preceded by weeks of anxiety. And the moment of decision is so ephemereal. One moment you have all the choices in the world, the other moment you are tied. To a role, to a company, to a job.
The worst thing is that there is no alternative. Not in the amount of courage I am willing to spend in the process of finding a job.

-Trying-my-way-with-words.
Will post when I am done rhyming the ands with the wands.

Cliches and More!

2007-02-01T14:13:00.000+05:30

There are some cliches that have been cliche-ised that the very sound of them makes a whole sentence boring. Examples - 'as to', 'how do we go about...', 'what this is all about...', etc.
Combined with personal favorite items, they can make any serious conversation funny and vice versa. The set of personal items I have come across includes
'bhaiya ho' : this was my Math tuition teacher in class XI, and you can visualise a set of giggling boys holding on to their stomachs to prevent them from bursting every time the 'revered' phrase was spoken!
'actually' : and i guess this is actually quite a common choice. Actually!
'like as' : As a matter of fact, a slight misspelling makes it even more interesting. 'Like ass'. But my computers teacher in the computer coaching class stuck to the single s version. I think he didn't find the idea of likening everything to 'ass' so interesting after all!
A frequent question at discussion tables here is, "So how do we go about doing it?". I wonder what is wrong with the simpler version: "So how do we do it?".
One might call this nitpicking, but why not. At least I am not yet into commenting on missing colons and hyphens. Eats Shoots and Leaves is actually a very good book for people who belong to this category, actually!

The activities that lead to final placement have started. Presentations by companies, numerous interactions which are alleged to be evaluative exercises in the garb of talk-over-coffee, case contests and so on. I find some of the gimmicks ridiculous, but then its too lopsided a judgement I am making without having been at the other side of the table.

I guess life also has a way of moving in cycles. Motorcycles for some, and bicycles for some. And I just pictured myself riding a Hero Gold Cycle with a special someone seated in the front passenger seat. [And also all the jing bang of Bollywood movies in the background]
The detour apart, sometimes life moves so fast, you gasp and pant, but all you get hold of is the bhagte-bhoot-ki-langoti. Or knickers or whatever, without a judgement on the gender of the bhoot. Life at IIMA had so far been like that. Mostly. In the physical sense, the 2 years moved like 2 years always do. But there were phases when life changed its face faster than the protagonist in FaceOff. And even more beyond recognition.
Then there was a phase when things were more settled down. Everyday was like the previous or the next.
Looking back, I realise that I have just crossed a small peak. But in reality, I am in a big trough. And that is going to change real soon. Life is going to change. Unpredictably, Rapidly. Almost in an instant.
I wonder if I am equipped at all. Some possibilities actually make me shudder. I wonder how I will go about dealing with those. But we all have to.

So many of the principles we learn in economics are true in real life as well. The results that are conjectured for the 'rational human being' hold true even when applied to the irrational world of relationships. Families, friends, lovers, siblings - you name it.
Demand and supply works as well in a family as it does in the market. Of course one has to guide one's vision appropriately. If you are too freely available, you are treated differently. 'Familiarity breeds contempt' - there couldn't be a more succinct way of saying it.
People look at profit and loss in all transactions - business or interpersonal. Taken to an extreme, it can be used to explain just about any kind of love, but then it would be too encompassing a theory. And a TheoryOfEverything is for the Hawkings of the world to find. However, I strongly believe that people look out for what they gain from anything and everything - relationships, stocks, and everything else.

What do you do when every single day, the one you love kills a part of you?
Do you kill a part of them? Can you?
And what do you when a part of them is a part of you?

Leemerikss!

2007-01-19T05:14:00.000+05:30

Hockey
There was once a hockey player
Who had this incredible flair
To fart in the middle of game
which brought his team to shame
But the masked rivals didn't care!

Bond
A bond he was, James zero zero seven
Many a goons he sent to heaven
He had stylish guns and cars
Helped prevent so many wars
And he also slept with sexy women

Coffee
A very big mug of coffee or tea
Sends sleep away for eternity
But it also has so much caffeine
That it may be difficult to wean
And it also often makes me pee.

Game Theory and Difficult Choices

2007-01-18T22:06:00.000+05:30

When I was in third term at IIMA, and that was around a year back, I decided that I would choose the Game Theory course in 6th term if it is offered. Now I am doing that course, and apart from the sometimes confusing and sometimes soporific lectures, I am enjoying my rendezvous with GameTheory. I think it is a pretty interesting topic and it offers interesting insights. Sometimes, the game theoretic arguments lead to results that do not seem to conform to the rules of rationality as they are normally touted. Consider this game:

Two individuals are asked to write down an integer in the range 0 to 100, both inclusive. The individual who writes the smaller number gets a reward equal to his score+2. The other individual gets a reward equal to his score-2. What is the equilibrium strategy, assuming that both players are individually trying to maximise their rewards?

Here's the game theoretic answer in rot13: Obgu jvyy jevgr gjb.

A similar question was asked in the mid term exam on 15th. I think the exam was pretty interesting. Unfortunately Strato got confused and apparently goofed up. I can understand how that would feel because time and again, I have had a similar feeling. Sometimes I am left wondering if I am any good at all, if I can't read a normal English sentence properly, or if I quote 3+3 as 9. Goofups I agree, but how often? And how severe?
I guess things like one's worth are too important to be left to be judged by the number or severity of one's goof ups.

Strato also tells me that my count of slain PYTs is increasing. A scrap on orkut recently left me puzzled.
u r a great person
"my god" is the only appt thing for ur achievements
if u have time tell me how u manage all things in a bunch
dont say that 'they happen'
i really got inspired from u

And I think I saw a tinge of green on a face but everyone knows who the prized and somewhat-slain PYT is. ;)

Celine Dion: Thats the way it is
...
When you want it the most theres no easy way out
When youre ready to go and your hearts left in doubt
Dont give up on your faith
...
When you question me for a simple answer
I dont know what to say, no
...

.

Of new year and demographic challenges...

2007-01-15T22:18:00.001+05:30

If one were to judge this year with the number of demographic challenges I have faced already, I think this is going to be the year of bumper harvests. I have had more than my due share of challenges for a whole decade. Time and again, I find myself in the midst of a demographcially chalenged gathering. Ratios range anywhere between 1:4 to 1:9.
And the irony of it is that it is happening in the last term here at IIMA. Here in IIMA which does not have a very favorable gender ratio, and in the last term, so the festivities won't last long!

Fart is a funny art. Just this morning, we presented the case of Galileo [ref:Brecht's play] armed with a mandate to emit all sorts of toxic fumes about leadership, choices, freedom and responsibility. Can a combination of 4 words get stinkier than this?
The proff was looking for some 'jing bang' in the slides, and any animation in the slides almost sent her to delights of a certain special kind.

Meanwhile, I have realised that
=Strato makes for a very good partner in crossword puzzles
=Polo, mentos and other tingy-tangy tasting things are good for health
=Second year at IIMA is an epitome of worklessness if you can find the right mix of courses
=People will not leave any opportunity to pull your leg. In fact, my legs now measure upto 7 feet
=Ironing too many cotton shirts can be injurious to backbone
=No drink beats Appy[except ginger ale] and no sweet beats jalebi
=When you don't know where life is taking you but you are enjoying every bit of it, worry not!

ki har tasveer ke upar
aur har takdeer ke sar per
tumhara naam likhenge
tumhein maangenge ab jee bhar

Old memories, new questions

2006-12-28T21:59:00.000+05:30

Its that time of the year when seniors are remembered. The one whom you hated for leaving his white gigantic small-clothes in the loo. The one who saw right through you when you walked by him. And many others. I talked to a senior and he transformed the stuff I had written about my summer project beyond my belief. I mean, its easier to believe that Jayalalitha was an actress once! [ and a fit one at that!]
CVs, companies, PPTs. The trio that decides many destinies. Not to forget interviews where, it is said, the true traits pop out. Uiii ma! If the interviewer is a good looking lady, I am doomed.

Its also that time when people find pleasure in poking fun at me.
"Why are you alone in the mess?"
"What is the story? what is the status?"
"Treat treat treat"
The first two are only harbingers of the Grand Inquisition, which I have so far avoided. It is the last one that really makes the baniya inside me flinch with fear. Say that again!? As it is, living on this earth is such an expensive proposition. Why complicate it?

A recent conversation with Sis centered on the convo. And I find it incredible that my stay at this place is coming to an end. It looks like just yesterday when I moved out of IITK. And today, another moving out... But sis had other things and questions in mind. "You don't have anyone in mind, do you?" "That girl, what happened to her" "You are not telling me the truth!"
A few more of these and a digit would be added to my phone bill for the month. The figure at present is sufficient to disqualify me from several baniya communities!

I dont know what is Core
because GameTheory is bore
Warehouse dont matter to me
Its only such insanity
Leadership and Vision are gigantic shit
in 22 minutes I humbly quit
Economics is dull and slow
I only wait for the time to go
Those trembling limbs and pounding heart
Is such a work of God's art
Snuggled in the arms of quiet,
I wish I could forever hide...

.

Back to old ways in Wimwi-pur

2006-12-25T19:52:00.000+05:30

Wimwi-pur is awash with the cries of phoren-return junta. Their eyes are still gung-ho with the memories of the beauty [and beauties] of Europe. I took a walk along the brick laden campus and the feeling of having arrived really arrived. I mean, I expected to feel wonderment at why I had landed in a brick factory. Instead, I felt as if I had never gone anywhere. Only the faces seemed new.

But I can't really call these ways old. They are so new, its almost like a dream. Sapnon ka mahal. Khayali Pulao? That last word brings back such vibrant memories of the frantic activities that used to take place at dinner time in Tauschie Dorm. Onion getting sliced to pieces, old dishes being cleaned, new recipes being mulled over. . .

And I return to the old question I once mulled over. Yes, people do get incredibly lucky at times. Like the time when I got sick and the doctors said, "Ise dawa ki nahi, dua ki zarurat hai". Or when I almost sank into a water tank like a polythene bag full of wet mud but was rescued just-in-time.
People do get lucky at times.
People now ask me if some developments have taken place. Oh come on, we live in a developing country. What do you expect?

On other developments, Ghalibiano has developed a soft corner [or rather, a 3 bhk chumree] for a certain French girl, widely known in WHU for her oui sounds and uiimaa! looks.

Strato's bheja is turning out to be tastier than the mess food here. And I am no less than hooked. While her threats to ban remind me of a certain Mr Khomeini, I have a demonstrated capability of lift and throw. Now, that is deadly. So deadly, its wise for people to buy medical insurance policies by the dozens.

What is real, and what is true,
until it gets all over you?
Ah this feeling, so divine,
never thought she would be mine!

Back to apna desh...

2006-12-16T18:48:00.000+05:30

When we boarded the flight in Frankfurt at 11 am, it was 8C outside. Slightly raining, and cold winds were blowing. And before we landed in Mumbai, the stewardess made an announcement that made my heart melt. The outside temperature in Mumbai was 28C, and this was at midnight! Even the thought of noon hours left me flinching. The sweater and jacket that I had put on were now hanging on my shoulders.
I couldn't have asked for a warmer welcome on return to apna desh!
The first thought that comes to one's mind [apart from 'Oh! so we have finally arrived' ] is , 'Oh, Mumbai airport isn't even as good as many railway stations in Germany'. True indeed. The number of shops in Cologne hauptbahnof [central station ] would put any decent sized mall in India to shame.
But this pessimism doesn't last long as you begin to imagine about the implications of your having arrived. Ah, so&so is gonna be around in 2 days. Ah, we can go to so&so place and hog. And oh, I can clear my backlog of movies, and talk to didi and bhaiya without worrying so much about the time. And finally, no more multiplying prices by 60!

Its already been 2 days since I came here. Acclimatization to the new surroundings didn't take long though. The cool air from ceiling fans, the taste of roti smeared in ghee, the not-so-odorless air, the horny cars and bikes and not having to cook before eating or wash dishes after eating!

And now, I am sitting in my room, eating sleeping and watching movies. Only few things can make life more fun, and they'll all come an eon later!

I stumbled upon this piece and I think its among the most beautiful juxtapositions of words I have ever come across:

"If there's ever a time that I should learn everything you
know, I will unlearn everything I know and start all over again.
The time shall never come when you cease to amaze me,
amuse me or excite me."

Last day @ WHU

2006-12-13T21:32:00.000+05:30

And just like a flash, the time to say goodbye has come. Actually I am saying this just to feel pleasant about my stay here. I now know that the theory of relativity isn't as bizarre as it sounds. Its very much for real; the last few days have been as long a year each!

In fact, I wonder why people have not been updating their blogs. Most of the people on my blog roll haven't updated in many days. A good, albeit poignant post came up in Smoochy's blog and it struck a chord in my mind.

Some people really do stand out, and that they stand out does not take time to figure out. You instantly trust them and you trust them without misgivings. And it doesn't matter whether or how they reciprocate. You recall the remotest memories from your childhood because you are no more afraid of being stupid. And even the darkest corners of your heart are accessible to them on a coffee table. God forbid, you know in your heart that whatever comes of it, it would all be worth it. For in those sweetest moments, when you are yourself without any masks and are loved for what you are, lie the treasures that can last a long, long time.

Speaking of other concerns, packing all my stuff within the space and weight constraints is turning out to be a tricky business. The Swiss and Belgian chocolates, the gifts and souvenirs are all packed. I have skillfully packaged the glass stuff, and positioned the PlasterofParis statue. And feel like a mule who is about to carry all that luggage. Well, at least the cabin luggage would need to be carried around at times, and my gawd, it IS heavy!

It feels great to be leaving this place before the real chill has set in. Come to think of it, even my definition of 'the real chill' has changed. The 4-5 C that we frequently live in doesn't seem like an aberration. May be the 30C temperature at Mumbai will thaw a lot more than just packed chocolates!

Fodder for the chewy minds:

Oh, like it was meant to be,
a lonely heart by a lonely sea,
The sinking sun, then almost gone
and waves worn out of rocking on.

Its then that you stumbled on me,
on a dark night, by the lonely sea.
I waved across, you smiled at me
and filled my floundering heart with glee.

In those thoughts and words you said
You painted me all bright and red !
Since then I never thought of me
as a loner, walking by the sea...

.

Experiences in Europe - Part 2

2006-12-08T18:40:00.000+05:30

It was around a year back that I signed up for an exchange program. Many of my friends who had initially shown interest had backed off. And I felt a little stranded. While the thought of going back to Europe sounded interesting, the financial implications were daunting. I was going to drill a hole the size of Bombay High into my future earnings. And all this, when I wasn't even sure what job I would land , how much I would earn and so on. In the end, I decided to take the risk even though I had come to consider as incredible the idea that I would be leaving all my friends behind.

The first thing one notices about Germany is cleanliness. The next blink on the radar screen is the use of technology in simplifying the most mundane tasks. And then you notice the subtlety of German humor, the German beer and bread, the polished politeness, the almost religious following of traffic rules, the blandness of food, sometimes even the racial overtones, the high standards of living, the low cost of food, the culture of family, the contempt bordering on scorn for the old, the efficient public transport system and the fickle weather.
If you stand in front of a zebra crossing without traffic lights, even a speeding car will stop to give you the right to passage. And people do that with a smile. You will only rarely hear people honking - it is considered the equivalent of swearing. If you do money transfers [not the online version], you will also notice that the banking system here is not so fast. In most offices, one can find people almost always on time, though Friday after lunch hours are exempt from this consideration. Technology dissipation as also internet penetration is high.
The thing that makes Germany so mobile is its efficient public transport. DB, the national train company offers trains that run on time, train connections that are very methodically scheduled and train staff that are courteous and helpful. Within cities, howsoever small, one can find a backbone of buses that run with high frequency. In most cities, the bus network is supplemented by trams, metro trains and local trains. However, don't bother to think about the complex classification system for trains.

Tourism in Europe is facilitated tremendously by the unbeatable combination of great value travel offers, efficient transport systems and easily available information. For instance, we bought the two month unlimited Eurail pass. With that, we could travel in any of the 18 countries, for 2 months. The only extra payment would be for the reservation or sometimes for the supplements. While ours was a hit-and-run kind of tourism, necessitated in part by the desire to compress as many tours as possible in the 2 months, anyone who travels extensively can save enormous amount of euros using travel passes. In short, extensive travel is cheap, one time travel is costly. Sometimes, it is outrageously costly !

Speed and comfort: When we cruised in the international ICE train from Brussels to Cologne, we realised what acceleration does to body. The neck becomes a little stiff, the ears frequently block out, and you can feel your back pressed against the seat. But the ride is almost as smooth as a glide, even at such speeds. We missed sitting in the TGV trains in France, but I am sure we did get to travel at around 270kmph on that ICE. Another pleasant aspect of travel in Europe is that there are very few people in the train, unless there is some special occasion. So, empty seats are aplenty and there almost always is space to stretch out. Watch out for Italy though. Trains there can get late, they are often crowded and petty crimes are frequent.

A sense of history: Pantheon was built around 50BC and Collosseum was built around 70AD. Its a brilliant feat the Greeks have achieved by building such long lasting structures. You might argue that even Ajanta and Ellora caves have survived, but these are architectural wonders. Huge, intricate and imposing.

A pleasant climate: While the weather is unpredictable, the climate is very amenable to tourism, except during the extreme winters. The vegetation that grows in this climate varies from trees that shed their leaves to trees that remain green throughout the year. Hence the variety of colors. There is no dust in the air, and pollution levels are low, hence it is difficult to make out how long someone has been wearing some dress. So you can manage with a lighter luggage.

Various moods: Romance in Parisian lanes or Venetian gondolas, wonder at monuments like Eiffel Tower and St. Peter's, bask in nature's beauty in Switzerland, explore the mysteries of BlackForests, experience the weather beyond the Arctic Circle by going to Rovaniemi or gawk at the technological marvels. There's something that suits every taste. And there is no dearth of activities.

I guess thats an inch too long. Should end the verbal spew now.
Meanwhile, 5 more days!

The Lull ...

2006-12-07T18:51:00.000+05:30

... before the storm?
I don't know.

I have failed a covert mission last week. And I may have compromised my identity to FSB.
I will ruffle many a feather when the news of my daylight robbery spreads.
Who knows, one of my sneaky plans might incite the ex-gymnasts from UP into plonking me in broad daylight!
Any of these would be more exciting than the current lull in my life. And the only activities in the next 6 days that will break this monotony are cleaning up the kitchen, making the oven's exposed surface shine like Anupam Kher's takli, packing my suitcase and cleaning my room. Quite a wishlist, and irrespective of whether you think it is sad or weird, I am actually looking forward to these activities.
Khali dimag, stoopid shaitan ka ghar!

KamJo knows how to make hearts melt. And without casting aspersions on either his tendencies or mine, I must admit that he is one of the few people who have the ability to make me feel really special with their compliments. Like he did with his comments on my previous blog. Vielen Danke, Herr Joshi!

The boredom is aggravated by the conspiracy of these people at thinks.com. I play the codebreaker and crossword puzzles on this website almost daily. And now, they have reduced the number of initial hints in codebreaker from 3 to 2. So, from a position where I could finish the codebreaker in anywhere between 1 min to 3 mins, now I struggle to finish it at all. I end up having to do at least one 'reveal letter' cheat but I am going to beat it one day. About the regular crossword, the lesser said the better.

Its that time of my stay here when these realisations dawn:
"Oh no, how am I supposed to take these glass thingies without getting them manhandled and heartbroken by zaalim luggage handlers at AirIndia?"
"Oh holy smoke, what am I gonna gift so&so? Why didn't I buy something when I went giftshopping? How could I be so insanely stupid?"
"Should I buy more chocolates?"

Ghanta leaves for apna mulk tomm. That only aggravates the longing to be back to what I call my home [and home away from home].
~Sigh~

Experiences in Europe - Part 1

2006-12-06T20:37:00.000+05:30

KamJo asked me to share some of my wonderful experiences from the Eurotrip. I think its high time I did.

But since there was so much that we saw, I will first talk about what we saw. And this post will be full of links to photos that illustrate all the superlatives that I am going to use. We all know how many words a picture can speak!

Beautiful Natural landscapes: Switzerland is by far, the most beautiful place in Europe, especially if you arrive during autumn. There's something about European trees that gives them leaves of vivid colors. And when fall comes, you can see just about every color hanging from the trees. Put a blue lake and a beautiful and snow-capped mountain in the backdrop and you would know what I am talking about.
However, more vivid and beautiful colors can easily be seen in Scandinavia. In the northern regions of Finland and Norway, especially if you drive in the country side, you will feel like you are inside a giant rainbow. Only, the colors are all intermixed making it the among the most beautiful natural kaleidoscopes. Similarly, though not quite equally beautiful scenes are to be seen in the BlackForest region in Germany.
Recommendations:
The bus ride from Haparanda to Lulea, both in Sweden. Quite easily among your most endearing view of Mother Nature's colors.
The train ride from Lucerne to Interlaken in Switzerland, called the 'Golden Panoramic Pass' and dubbed the most beautiful train ride. Hop off at Brienz and stay there for 2 days, doing nothing except gazing at the scenery, and I assure you, no landscape will ever look beautiful enough.
Close in competition is the train ride from Oslo to Bergen in Norway. As the train chugs along, the landscape keeps changing, and you see green mountains, golden forests and snow covered regions in this one ride. And to top it all, you reach Bergen which is famous for its fjords.

Beautiful Urban Landscape: If I were to call one city beautiful, it would be Venice. For the weak hearted, it is enchanting to say the least. Canals and pigeons abound in this city, as do gondolas. A ride in a gondola with your loved one is among the most romantic things ever [along with Parisian adventures]. And if you come to Venice and don't notice the special things about Venetian masks and Murano glass, you must be incredibly stupid or completely blind.
On the more modern side is Stockholm, which is beautiful for the magnificient juxtaposition of the old with the new. Walk along the seaside, venture into the museums or watch the Royal Guard Change ceremony at the Royal Palace. Or gaze and marvel at the modern buildings. For those who are still wonderfully single, it would be interesting to note that Swedish ladies are amongst the most beautiful in Europe, alongwith Greek, Spanish and Italians.

Imposing Architecture: Quite clearly, a city which has a history of many millennia can be tough to beat on this count. Rome stands out as the city with innumerable imposing monuments. From those that are old enough to be ancient, may be even prehistoric, to the newer ones. From St Peters's Square to Collosseum to Acropolis. While the Basilica is simply stunning, other lesser known monuments are also very big and beautiful.
Paris and Rome are architecturally the two most well endowed cities in all of Europe.

Mercedes Museum: The multi-storeyed museum in Stuttgart is simply among the best structures in Germany. Technologically advance and aesthetically well designed, its the mecca for Mercedes lovers. It houses a dazzling variety of cars - from the first ones degined by Otto to the concept cars.

This is what I saw. In a next post, I will talk about how I felt.

Meanwhile, through a noble but sudden scheme of things, I realised how awfully bad I am at impersonating people, even through the web channel. To my credit, the impersonation was across genders :O and I was talking to Strato, so I was excited and typing at supersonic speed! :))

Also, I am almost done with the gift shopping. For myself, I have bought a plaster of paris statue which I liked, but needs to be clothed a little before I can put it up for public display in my room.

And here's one of the best quips I have heard in some time :
Me: But I put in so much effort to produce these PJs and you don't even appreciate that.
X: Arrey yaar, "in constipation, even crap is hard to produce"

Bunder-fool

2006-12-01T21:32:00.000+05:30

Weeks of idleness can make a bunder-fool out of any sane person. I am trying to remember the last time when my IQ wasn't in the sub-zero region. My own jokes are becoming yuckier [like they show in Bollywood movies, I have begun hearing echoes of 'eww eww' in my dreams]. However, I didn't like Borat. Nopes, not at all. Letterman's interview with Borat was funny, but thats about all.

Intermittently, I am propounding theories. Life's like a bicycle ride, na!? You go too fast and you risk an accident. You go too slow and you fall. And unless you know where you are going, you are bound to crash into something you didn't foresee.
Like this one time when my didi crashed straight into a rustic lady, who was on her way carrying groceries to the market for selling. And there can be few things more unwanted than crashing into ladies in Banda. If it had been me instead of didi, I would be wearing a wig by now.

It looks like just yesterday when we were standing in front of a noticeboard, looking for group members. That was one of the first few days at IIMA. And now, the last term will start in less than 3 weeks. So much has changed. I entered some 'circles of trust' and exited some. Somethings haven't changed so much. My weight still refuses to cross the magic figure of 53. I still like to surprise people. And my plans are stil foiled by fate.

I guess the next 12 days are going to be the longest so far!

Who gripes too hard the dry and slipp'ry sand, Holds none at all, or little, in his hand. - Robert Herrick

Al Italia

2006-11-27T00:04:00.000+05:30

I can bet that 99% of the o-sounds originating on globe come from Italians. So much so, Ghalibiano has begun to sound more natural a sound than Ghalib.

We just came back from a three day trip to the land of pizzas, the o-sounds and so on. Roma was enchanting, Venezia was interesting and Milano was haute coutour-ish.
But I still can't believe I had the spaghetti with sea-food. I almost thought I saw something wriggle. And one of the pieces almost looked like the claw of a duck. I somehow managed to eat it and avoided all the suspicious looking pieces. Not to mention the sidey looks others gave when I struggled with the noodles. Did I tell you I hate spaghetti !?

I also liked the idea of throwing coins in the famous Trevis Fountain. Felt like a kid. I actually frown upon this tradition in most places , but this one time, I let it be. And it felt great. The best part was actually thinking that if there were one wish I wanted, what would it be! Enter Grandma.

I just had an idea of jotting down some of the phrases that I have liked over the years. Here they are:

" ...
For what I worshipped stole my love away
It was the ground beneath her feet
..."
from U2's "The ground beneath her feet"

"And he beamed with a desire that was so fiercely intense,
his eyes burnt ."

"More than you can understand, others can believe or I can express..."

"Love means never having to say you're sorry."
And now I don't have to reference this one, do I ?

"He smiled as he saw the drop of sweat trickle down her glistening face..."

"Here's looking at you, kid. "
from the movie Casablanca

"And though I want and could ask for everything, I just ask for your time. For its not only in the promise of a future, which is so uncertain anyway, but in the ecstacy of the present that I want to be with you. I wish this could last forever. I wish this didn't have to change just because God had other plans."

Wingies at IITK...

2006-11-20T20:52:00.000+05:30

A consecutive set of rooms in IITK hostels is called wing. It is normally the first level of platonic bonding on campus. You see the same people when you brush your teeth, and you bid them goodnight. You probably also sleep with them sometimes, when your brother visits you. You go out on dinner treats [to mess or beyond] and trips to other places. You begin to love them.
This is my wing:

We were an eclectic bunch of people, ranging from one who couldn't distinguish between contraceptive pills and kaun-domes to the one who was famous as the complete man. One was alleged to have distinctly girlish choice of colors and other stuff while one pushed heavy iron in the gym. The latter had a chest to show, and later, he supposedly even had breast cancer! We had a badshah among us as also the guy who wore only full sleeve shirts, or thats how the juniors recognised him. There was a budding goalkeeper, a talented AOL chat specialist with friends named kerala, bangalore and so on, a hawa-22 who was a mentor to many an IITian, a reputed contributor to wikipedia and a reincarnation of Jonty Rhodes. Not to forget, the only IITK MTech amongst us, whose legendary thighs and cake cooking skills were the envy of many a girl !

We are all in our own worlds, some doing jobs, others MBA and the rest sweating it out for MS/PhD.
But I miss them all.
Its been over a year and a half since I saw most of them. I met one, and saw that his biology had improved, as also his acquaintance with girls. The ones with jobs are doing well. Badshah is doing well with wing bhabhiji. [The real one, not the one to whom this moniker had stuck!]

This one doesn't seem to have had a good luck with photography:

Not to be misconstrued, I intend no slander. I possess no malice. But I want to have some fun.
Another photo is in place here:

With best wishes to one and all. Hope to bump into you somewhere, sometime soon!

Been blogrolling and nothin'

2006-11-18T23:56:00.000+05:30

I guess I have had too much free time off late. The clothes were washed, dried and ironed out sometime back. The room is clean. There is no lecture in a week. No travel plan for 4 days.
Though I have been obsessively watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S. episodes, I begin to feel like a desperate housewife. I want some work.

Its a pity the fellow banterer is busy herself. I look at the cobweb of friends around me and wonder at how small this world is. But it still gives me creeps. Nothing can be too good to be true, isn't it?
In my childhood, I used to dream about icecream fountains and chocolate walls. I dreamt of winning a lottery. Some people do win lottery, don't they? Some people do get unimaginably lucky sometimes, don't they? I thought I was lucky to be blessed with some things, but a strange thought once clouded me. What if I woke up one day and realised that it was all but a happy dream...?
Should I pick up some morphine now? Will that make the dream last forever?

A friend of Strato says its only as complicated as you make it. Thats a simple sentence. Or is it complicated?

I was reading a rather serious article. At least the kind of discussion it has evoked in the minds of some people does give that impression. The article is titled Should IITians keep away from IIMs? and the most interesting thing I found there was the mention of Bundelkhand University. Thats the university in my city, Banda. I couldn't help noticing how it was contrasted against IITs. I mean, should I feel happy for the IITs or should I feel sad about the univ. ! ! !?!?!
At this point in time, I guess I should be branded as the champion of the most ignominous debates. When they start discussing serious topics in small chitchats, all I think is "how does it matter what you think". May be what they did would matter, but in the words of my HR prof, I don't see the connect... between what they say and what they do.

That just ignited another thought. What would an exact opposite of me look like?
Someone who :
-is good at debates and quick repartee
-has hair that just refuse to settle down
-is athletic
-has a good taste in music
-is well learned in childhood literature and other serious-er forms of writing
-is interesting and has a good sense of humor
A law in physics says that there is a good chemistry between opposites. They attract, don't they? The description doesn't imply good things about me but still !

In my free time, I also discovered a few blogs. I liked mavernik for his was a good way of presenting a serious thought. Something even a naive [or knave, if you wish ] person like me could comprehend. This blog sounded more like a commentary inspired by Sex and the City for one post, but others are interesting. Or is it just the voyeurist in me :O !

...
Let them say I'm crazy,
What do they know!
...

The [Dis]Advantages of long hair.

2006-11-17T15:27:00.000+05:30

First the advantages.

+My receding hairline isn't so visible. The havoc it can wreak on my prospects is considerably reduced. Something in my brain tells me that now I shouldn't worry about my prospects so much. But then, a bald face can do wonders, not excluding dissuading interested people!
+I don't feel so cold in the head. Its almost like wearing a woolen scarf.
+I am saving the precious euros I would have to spend on a visit to the barber. In the amount that it costs here, one can get a nice therapy/treatment done back home.
+Vatika Nariyal Tel Company has spotted me as their most prized customer.

And now the disadvantages.

-People with uncommon tendencies can take signals that I am not giving out. Some people will never appreciate the difference between metrosexual and homosexual!
-They poke into my eyes, at times irritating me so much that I pull at them, and shriek out with pain.
-They make me feel untidy, almost as much as a pair of smelling-like-hydrogen_sulphide socks do.
-I am afraid of asking some girls out for date, as I might end up being the one with the longer hair!
-Some of the thoughts I want to let go of get caught in them and stay literally at the back of my mind.

Disclaimer: Not everything stated here is factually correct! :P

.

Life sciences !

2006-11-16T00:32:00.000+05:30

Its one of those times that remind me that geography and physics are for real. The distances aren't just for the maps, as are the time differences. Flying isn't for humans in the real world.

Our life saviour McD turned devil for Strato, and she is down with illness. She is hot as well, and I am referring to her temperature. Here's wishing her the speediest journey back to the world of strong and healthy. :)

Life in Vallendar gaon has come to a standstill. Its the phase when the feeling dawns that the time to return is coming. A guy from IIMC has already gone. Few more will go in 2 weeks. We will be gone in another 2 weeks.

On looking back, I realise that both of my major investments, the Eurail pass and the laptop have turned out to be pretty worthwhile. I wouldn't have known that earth is such a beautiful planet if I hadn't made those investments. Without the laptop, the lousy lectures, dull evenings and boring afternoons would have been intolerable. And the beautiful morning afters would never have come. Without the Eurail pass, a Eurotrip would be unthinkable.

I look at CM and wonder. He is changed. At times, he tries to sound like a professor. Just this afternoon, I was making fun of his 5micron ego and he became serious. Quite a contrast from the usual him, he who laughs at his own jokes and sometimes is the only one laughing.

I was also wondering about why and how Chashmish hasn't featured here. He is a childhood buddy I was always proud of. His awareness of insider information so frequently gives him the upper hand in the battle of wit-less humor. Too much, however, can never be said about this gentleman. He is so naive, he confuses Casanova with Kournikova. And I feel utterly unsafe taking panga with him, so I will avoid more such descriptions! :D

I wish everyone had a brother and a sister like I do. An elder brother who recommends spending now and saving later, and an elder sister who just wouldn't let me live girlfriendlessly!

The Swissing and the missing...

2006-11-14T18:50:00.000+05:30

So we swissed some and missed some, but thats life.

I just came back from an enchanting trip to Switzerland. The most panoramic scenes were to be found on the stretch from Lucerne to Interlaken. We decided to ditch the ride to the top of Jungfrau peak, but ended up spending an hour in Brienz. I will let the photos do the rest of the talking...

If they keep saying Switzerland is a beautiful country, you better believe it. Build your expectations and they will be surpassed.

There are a couple of things one can't help noticing about the Swiss.

First things first. They understand that human beings have urges which need to be attended to every once in a while, and for which, backpackers on a shoestring budget may not be willing to shell out the precious euros [or Swiss Francs either!]. So they have made public toilets at convenient locations. And they are damn neat too.

The Swiss cows aren't so horny. Probably they have been vaccinated with sterlising hormones or something. Probably their horns don't grow so well. Contrast that with the sturdy and insanely horny cows of Ahmedabad, and probably the whole of Gujarat.

Switzerland is a rich country. You go to an information counter in the railway station, and get a printout for your query. You will feel it in the quality of the paper. You can also see it in the way public systems are managed. But after travelling to many European countries, one must concede it to the Germans that they have a talent for running an efficient railway network. DB trains mostly arrive on time, often with a difference of only a few seconds!

In exactly a month from now, I will fly back to apna desh. Even the thought seems so comforting. I won't be able to go back home, but I will at least break out this monotonous routine of cooking and eating. And fending for myself for most things!

What could have been!

2006-11-10T16:41:00.000+05:30

I just came out of a what-could-have-been moment.

I mean, I once fell into a water tank and survived. What if I hadn't been rescued in time?
Would I still have made my way to IIMA?
I guess I would. And then, some of those weird monkey cries [mating calls, some people claim] people hear in the old campus at IIMA would have come from my throat. The monkey I saw being scared away by cracker bursts could have been me. Or may be the dog that was kicked by the drunkard next door.

What if I hadn't been selected into IITK that year? All those friends I cherish now would have been my seniors. Would I have met Talisma, Sweety, Roy, Rama, my wingmates and so on?

It's a complex thought process. But one that leaves you clueless about what-could-have-been.

There's a problem with dreaming too much. And that is, that they shatter a lot. If the moment a girl smiles at you, you start thinking about what your kids are going to be called, then there is a problem. The Classical Dreamers' Dilemma.

To dream or not to dream, that is the question!
Whether its nobler in the mind to live like a dud,
or to dream and win or lose and suffer...

On resolutions and wishes...

2006-11-06T19:38:00.000+05:30

Its that time of the year when I make resolutions and wishes.
Previous resolutions have included calling home more often, not forgetting friends' birthdays and acting normal.

This year calls for strong resolutions and dreamy wishes.

1- Weaning away from too strong addictions.
A few months without eating jalebi and I think I have shed a few kgs, had to discard a few trousers and buy a new leather belt. As I sit back and think about jalebis all over the country being devoured by afficionados, it kills me. I guess I wouldn't feel so bad if my feelings for jalebi s were under my control.
I will start by not looking at the MessMenu every evening.

2- Learning to love life for what it offers.
Once when I was in class XI, I was following a girl. And a streetdog in her lane bit me so hard, I think I must have passed out. Once I bought a 3-euro coffee at Munich Airport to help deal with my headache. I ended up with one of my worst memories about headaches. Never drank coffee in Germany after that, unless I was the one preparing it.
I guess there's a risk-return tradeoff in everything we do. You wake up in the morning, brush your teeth and hurt your gums. End up being unable to eat anything not on the same temperature as your gums. The next day you decide not to brush your teeth and your girlfriend kicks you away. You see what I mean?
I will start by loving my socks for not smelling as bad as my neighbour's. And still loving them when they stink.

3- Improving my digestive system.
It stinks. I don't intend to ignite ewwwy thoughts about bile juice, salad marinated in saliva or the first thing one would think after hearing 'digestion' and 'stink' in the same (smelly?) breath. Well, I am talking about my ability to hold on to facts. May be there's nothing wrong with my system except that it has been overloaded. Numerous secrets about current affairs, and other trivialities reside in my heart. Sometimes they spill over.

4- Visiting a cardiac specialist.
Heart ek hai yaar, can't take risks. I have miss-used it quite a lot, spent it on charming ladies too often, let it slip away unnoticed only to find it a week later lying drunk in chandni bar.

5- Never say never again.
Its a fantastic movie and I will watch it as soon as I can get my hand [or eyes] on it.

Now its time to enumerate my wishes.

1- Blood Donation.
Once in an adventurous mood, I went to a blood donation camp to donate blood. They put me on the receptor's line! Many a mosquito have starved to death in my room. Bro says I look like a shirt has is hanging over a skeleton. Its only recently that clothes of my size have become available in showrooms.
I hope one day they will let me stand in the donors' line.

2- Swarovski
Those crystals look so insanely awesome. In varied hues, shapes and sizes, they just take my breath away.
I hope I am capable of gifting one to someone sometime... or may be, anyone anytime!!!

3- Mercedes
Hang Kamlesh for putting this thought into my head but its so many years and I think it still remains among my most desired things. I don't know nought about racing cars, or even normal cars. But I do know that whenever a Merc passes by, I still can't stop having a second look. And mind you, very few sights are capable of provoking that second look!

4-Hmm.
Grand ma says thats enough wish-revealing. And I really want them to come true.

Aaameen.

German quirks!

2006-11-02T16:44:00.000+05:30

They say you should never see a dog or a monkey in its eye. If you are new to the German way of living, I think you should not see anyone in the eye. I mean, like every dog has his area defined [ though demarcated by pretty unhygienic means], I feel like even I have an area. Anyone whom I see inside the imaginary circumference wishes me Hallo, Guten Tag or something. Some people do it so sweetly, you feel running to them and... ok, forget it, they are mature nuns busy in the work of God. But some people look at you and say the hello in such a grotesque manner, you wish you'd never see them again.

Water is supposed to be water. Hydrogen two atoms, Oxygen one. Somehow, that is not the case here. Un-carbonated water feaures in the same extinct species' list as dodo and dinosauraus. Especially when one is travelling and drinking so much CO2, there is all this green house effect going on inside. And it makes your stomach go queasy at the very mention of bottled water!

Just about everything can be made more convenient and hands free using technology. We bought a bottle of strong adhesive and couldn't figure out how to open its capillary like nozzle. So we decided to take a look at the instructions [ it was in German, so looking was all we could do.. luckily there were some photos and photos don't have any language so far! ] . Flip the cover , place it securely against the nozzle and twist. Lo and behold! the nozzle tip is open.
Of course, the sensor fitted doors are found everywhere - from local banks to supermarkets to railway stations.

Speed. Its not just a Hollywood movie, its also a passion for the Germans. Look at the autobahns. Or the ICE trains. You can travel at 260kmph in an autobahn and you would still find people whooshing past. As for ICE trains, well, the less said the better. The way trains cruise at 250+ kmph speeds, you wonder if they are on magnetic levitation. But they are not. And thats the biggest deal.

Language. If you can say 'Danke Schoene' and 'Tschuss' with the same elan as Germans do, you can win their hearts. But if you can't, be prepared to be surprised. Not always, may be, not often. But sometimes, you can see faces twitch and twist when you communicate that you can't speak in Deutsche. 'Ich sprache nicht Deutsche'. That will kill you.

Beer. If you can't bear beer, you can't enjoy any party in Germany.

Bread. There are more kinds of bread to be seen in a German cafe than there are kinds of insects in this world. [Wasn't that a huge number?]

This list is by no means complete. Nor is it meant to be in bad taste.
To a ill-mannered guy who comes from India, the German politeness and sense of humor is inspiring. But it takes time to get used to these things. Till then, you are allowed to say you don't like it !

Gumnaam

2006-10-29T19:57:00.000+05:30

I read the post of a blogger whom I admire, and felt incited. If he were a she and within a reachable distance, I might be hiding my face right now. I mean, finger marks across your cheek aren't yet in fashion! And girls in India still slap if kissed on the cheek by a stranger, don't they?
As it goes, he incited me to write something really sensational. The sort of stuff that would make headlines in all the leading tabloids. You know, the "Yeh khabar faila do akhbar mein, poster lagwa do bazar mein.." kinda feeling.
He didn't say a word to me. He doesn't even know me. But he wrote something beautiful. And I tried as well. No booti-fools. Only a longer leash for the brain waves. So far those waves were on ultrasonics, so only nocturnal insects and bats had heard my mind.
I did try. But the one who inspired me had reneged by then.
I felt like a naked man in front of Chenghis Khan's army. I retuned the frequency. Added some jungle noise. And wrote garbage.
And you are eating that garbage now.

But thats the problem with me. I have never been patient. Except when I fell to typhoid and malaria in boarding school. And it was bad, so I gave up patience.
Very few things have been able to keep me waiting for them. Jalebi [Lal or otherwise], yoghurt and chocolates top the charts.

Friend Popes won a cool 90K with Batti. I mean is that cool or what? I can already imagine him all dollar-eyed, sort of like Uncle Scrooge. And if he doesn't give the treat he has promised, BhaiLog from Dubai are eager to share the bounty! But he's a good person. Has been an accomplice in many conspiracies, past and future. I often ask him when I am in doubt.
"PizzaHut se kya order karne ka hai! "
"Manaa kar diya yaar usne, ab bol kya karun! "
"WashingMachine mein kaun sa knob ghumane ka hai? "
"Sach bolun ya nahi... pitai bhi ho sakti hai! "

And for a change, no concluding italicised text.
Garbage is better than all-revealing expressions!

The morning after.

2006-10-29T03:20:00.000+05:30

No!
Nobody ate the pill. Neither the poison pill, nor the morning after pill.

Though my evening was like any evening before,
[ Cooking dinner, resting, chatting, watching some episodes of Friends, some more chatting and so on]
the morning after was like I have never seen before. It was drizzling slightly, the trees had all turned golden and I had this smile that just wouldn't leave me.
I watched myself in the mirror and jumped in surprise.
"Who is this smiling shaitan!!!!!" ?
I washed it with my facewash. Didn't help.
I applied the Peach Milk Cream Moisturizer [Gawsh, I can't make out a moisturizer from a toothpaste! ]
but the smile was still there.
Scraping my face red with the loofa my sister gave me
didn't help either. Now I was all red and smiling.
May be its the weather that is perfect, I mused.

I tell you, before I came to Germany on this exchange trip, I had cried only a few times. Very few times. And never in a kitchen.
Now, it seems to be the norm. Twice a day, sometimes even thrice.
My lachrymose gland is working over time.
"Bas*ard"! See, it just called out!

This exchange trip has done other things to me as well:

-Every time I see a loo, I feel the urge to pee. But only when its for free.
Doesn't that mean that my bladders have evolved into a more intelligent species? I mean, apart from the Pavlovian effect of seeing-and-peeing, they also factor in the whether-its-free-or-not information! Thats what I would call a smart machine down under. Hey man, I should take an IQ test now!

-Every time I see a map, I try to read it.
Helps me get over the feeling of being lost in my life. At least there's something I know about directions.

-Every time I think of that evening, I smile.
And I still don't know how to stop it.

"...
and just because you smiled at me,
its sunshine again
..."

Lessons!

2006-10-23T22:59:00.000+05:30

Lessons from the biggest teacher. May be she is the strictest and the most unforgiving teacher as well. May be, she is not so hard.

-If you have come this far, you can reach anywhere!
Irrespective of whether you are walking, driving or flying. Often I thought I won't last much longer. Often I wondered why I didn't choose the easy route for myself. Now I think there is still a long way to go, and I am sure I will get there.

-If she is your choice, she must be nice!
Yes. Irrespective of what people say, or opine. If you have eaten your heart thinking about a person, and asked yourself the same question every night and heard the echo of the same answer from deep inside you, she must be that good and more!

-Ants in the pants can be painful literally.
Unless you've got an ant eater inside your fly, ants are better left in ant-holes.

-She is beautiful doesn't imply she is dumb.
Irrespective of what all the engineering days' formulae imply, it is not true. I know many a beautiful and smart ladies myself. And before you begin to get ideas, they are all committed! ;)

-Sometimes life can be so beautiful, it seems like a dream. But it is true.
And I am not describing why I think that ways.

-The best way to see stars on a starless night is one-tight-slap. Masti ka chataka.
Got that by first-hand experience.

-Size matters, until you learn the tricks.
Those tricks can help the skinny me kick butts weighing more than my body weight. But when those sizable masses come in velocity, run for life.

-Some people have innate talent for onion-cutting, boiled-egg-peeling and map reading.
And you are reading the blog of one such gifted person.

-If you really really want something, tell Him. Tell Him every night till He listens.
Kyunki is duniya mein der hai lekin andher nahi.

My wish-list and Tushe tushe tushe!!!

2006-10-23T01:14:00.000+05:30

On the issue of dreaming, well ... I dream a lot. Especially in boring lectures.
The sequence is almost always the same: the prof starts singing his lullaby, I yawn and dhoom. My head starts to fall on either side. Quite like a gyroscope.

Anyway, recently, something magical happened. I bought my laptop in a highly leveraged transaction and the deal was worth it. My eurail pass investment seems to be paying off.
[ By the way, one ends up spending a lot more in trying to recoup that investment!!!! ]
And I am on a course that leads to fulfilment of some of my dreams. Inshallah. Ameeen.
[ The dream list is still out of bounds. My grand-ma insists they should not be shared! :P ]

Just yesterday, we were on a trip to Brussels, which is aroud 300 miles from here. We went on an ICE international train, and gawssh, it was amazing. On the autobahn beside us, we could see a car driving fast, then another car swooshed past it and then, our train swooshed past the swooshing car. We estimated the speed to be above 150 kmph, more like 180, and the LCD screen started mocking at us, proudly proclaiming the speed to be 249. And the train picked up more speed!

Brussels is an international city, with a nice juxtaposition of Art Noveau with more modernistic designs and older architecture. It turns out that the most famous monument in Brussels is 'Mannekin Pis' - a pissing boy. We thought it would be at least a big sized statue. It turned out to be life-sized. And the omnipresent Japanese tourists were there in droves gawking at it. I almost wanted to tell them, "You may as well look down and see the same thing". But I refused to indulge in any such attempts at their mockery.

The starting point for the retrn journey was at the southern end of the city. We were at the northern end and realised that either we took the train which left in 40 mins from then, or waited 4 hours for the next train. We decided to give it a shot, and I tell you, we walked all the way from the north to the south and reached there a full 10 minutes before time. And we collapsed by the time we reached there.

Belgium seems to have drawn more from the French than from the German. On our way back, we wanted to ensure we were on the right track. The Master Map Reader [Yours Truly] was sure he was correct, but just to make sure we asked a passerby.
"Whats the way to [loud]Brussels [louder] Midi?" The voice accentuation was a direct result of his indicating to his, through his facial gestures that he was not able to comprehend our English.
"Midi?"
"Yeah"
His face and hands pointing straight."Tushe tushe tushe tushe tushe", in such a hurry of sounds that we thought he might collapse the next moment.
Then some garble. "Uber bingle bingle" accompanied by a violent nodding of his head and a gesture to his left. If the previous excitement hadn't killed him, we were sure he was about to collapse now out of sheer exhaustion. His face belied a sense of genuine concern for us.
"Ok, straight". We almost wanted to congratulate him for telling us something in French and getting us to understand it with his facial gestures. And for all the anxiety he exuded.
And we thought the game was over, and we will say Thank you and leave.
"Tushe tushe tushe tushe tushe", and the same violent series of expressions were revisted.
We ran away, fearing for his safety. While on the flee, we looked back and waved and shouted a giant thank you to him.
And just for the records, Master Map Reader was right on track. Even literally, he was on track.

Its a crime to kill your dreams
its a sin to murder hope
There's no hurdle you can't overcome
there's no problem you cannot cope.
(Copyrighted :P )