Akele hain to kya gam hai !

Its an ominous sign when I turn the 'repeat single track' option in WinAmp to 'yes'. It is an indication to my neighbours that they can pack their bags and run off to Hawaii. Or buy a pair of ear plugs. Or pray for deafness.

The record I made for playing a single track continously is for 3 days. For all the time when I was awake and in my room, that song was playing. Incidentally, I forgot to switch it off when I was going to sleep, so it was running as the background score even in my dreams. That song was 'Teri Deewani'.
This song "Akele hain to...", I just realised, reflects a lot of my feelings in bits and parts. And brings back some old [but still as vivid as ever] memories.
A clear indication that the previous record might be broken.

Who cares that I have an SFI quiz in 45 minutes from now. I have these memories to entertain.

"Akele hain to kya gam hai" - this was the comment I got from Talisma - the tall smart girl I met at IITK. And if you lack the IQ required to figure this out, I must tell you that she goes by a different name in the real world!
It was the first time I had heard this. I didn't know it was the starting line of a beautiful song. And when I actually heard the song, I was flattered. For I conjured such romantically beautiful thoughts of me and her. [ Yes Talisma, this is a confession I never made! ]

I had emailed her and she hadn't replied. It made me impatient, and I decided to set a deadline. Many coincidences happened. It was one of those once-in-a-year days when IITK sees a power cut. So she saw my email late. And by then, I had already emailed her that I am leaving the campus.
She told me later that she came running to my hostel to find out if I had already left, and our caretaker Bhagwan Singh ji told her that I had left some 5 minutes back! And then she, in her sweet grudging style, emailed me - "Akele hain to kya gam hai".
Only God knows how guilty I felt. More guilty than when I had straggled the neck of a small cute kitten with a long stick.

Talisma went on to become a very close friend. That makes the memories of this song even more beautiful. So what if we dont talk, Talisma. Those memories are still as beautiful.

Much like the older memories of playing in sand and being given a one-tight-slap followed by many more variants of the same. Sometimes I pity my cochlea.
Probably my parents thought it was a nice warm up exercise before the shock-and-awe treatment went to the next stage of sticks and clothe hangers.
I can almost hear them say, "Chal beta, bahut din ho gaye. Aj thoda kaan ki exercise kar le". Chatack! Chatack...

I wouldn't call them cruel, because that was what my friend's mom was. She was very liberal with the use of slippers, broom sticks, TV remote etc. I once got the opportunity to hear the sound of those slipper chatacks, and ever since then, I haven't grudged my own ear treatment.


Sometimes, I resent the fact that life must move on, no matter what. What if I could freeze an instant in time? I wonder which one it would be. Late night strolls at IITK, the last evening I spent with Talisma, one of the innumerable blissful moments with Sweety, a walk to remember, the few I-can't-believe-I-have-done-it moments, the peaceful sleep in mom's lap, the long walk with my brother in Nagpur that saved my day/year/life, the only one occasion when my sister confessed that she was missing me!