Lal Jalebi, Timid Momo and the Natraj Snan

I have ..er... a fetish. May be, its just a habit.
When I like the appearance of a girl, the adjective I think/imagine/coin is often linked to food.
Lal Jalebi is my favorite term.
Just this other day, I saw a female walk past a row of men and women eating as if the sambhar they were consuming would find its way out very soon[one way or the other]. Clad in a red dress, she looked appetizingly similar to a red hot jalebi. The kind you just won't let your neighbour have. And if he picked it up from my thali, I would be booked under the fresh nighty india section 302 [tazi rate hind dafaa teen sau do, in chaste english] for battery and assault leading to slow, painful death.
So there she was, walking in all her splendor. My heart skipped a beat. No, I am not the hannibal you were always scared of. But calling someone Jalebi is like ..umm... "milady, I will sacrifice my life for the permission to hold your hand for a fleeting second".

The other mentionable phrase is "Brown sugar". Now, brown refers to the color of the female's dress, on one particular day when I coined this phrase. Sugar comes from my oh-so-obvious fondness for all things sweet, except dove-eyed sweet 'that type' guys. I was bowled once again. I felt like VenkatPathi Raju must have felt facing Ambrose. [Yes, I used to follow cricket once!]


Turning to Momo... he turned out to be more timid than I thought. Made some arbit excuse and vanished. So, I get a walkover in place of a pushover. I didn't know the thought would frighten him so!


When you are feeling really really weird, and can bet that it can't get worse, try this.
Put a small bandage on your left toe, take a shower and ensure that your bandage doesn't get wet. You'll understand the trauma I have to undergo everyday. I stand like Natraj, my left toe higher than my right knee to prevent the drops of water from trickling down.
And I feel weird.
If I smelt any better than rotten onions after bearing half a day of sultry weather, I wouldn't do it. But I have to. The same way I have to buy Axe deos.
Well, there are more reasons to buy Axe deos - the promise of Axeland and the hope of a sexy, hot, the-lesser-clad-the-better girl leaping onto you the way they do in Axe ads.

But yeah, if its that time of the day, and you wish to confront me, do shout out from a safe distance and confirm the time of my last bath. And if I smell too much of an Axe deo, either I want you to leap on me, or I haven't taken the much needed bath!