Difficult to hold back!

Cheers to those who have to go through the constant trauma of having to think whether what they are thinking is possible. Because it can't be that bad.
Not everyone has an astronomical TQ* score. So not everyone will understand how difficult it is to hold back.

*TQ: Tharakiness Quotient. A measure of how sharp you are at spotting adult innuendos/conotations in innocous looking sentences.

Let me narrate my woes. A friend wished me, "May God always watch your back" and I was like, "Hey Ram! But why mine"? Luckily He took no offence - neither Mr Ram, nor the friend - especially latter, because he was in his sweet nineties then.
["Aye fresher, kehan jaa raha hai! Mota salla, weight kitna hai tera?" - "I am in my sweet nineties" ]
The first time I heard, "Nanhe munhe bachche teri mutthi mein kya hai", I was in Class 9. But I still couldn't help it. Its wicked, but what do I do! I love kids, and am not even remotely paedophilic. But then, my parents sent me to a boys' only hostel. A military school, no less.
I have almost landed into many troubles in classrooms because of a keen eye and a keener ear. Teacher said, "...Those who don't have it, please leave. Those who do, I will tell you what to do..." By the way, she was talking about the textbook, but my smirk spread dirty ideas right through the class. And she took sweet revenge, by making me the outstanding student of the class.
English teacher on spotting my spelling mistake, said, "Watch your r's". I almost asked her if she was afraid it would fall off or go missing if I took my eyes off it! I even considered offering to watch my neighbouring beauty's "r's", but resisted. Her father wore a necklace that looked like it was made of gouged eyeballs! And then she showed us how to write the calligraphic r by writing on the blackboard... "Now watch my r's". Ahem. No comments.
Recently, I spotted the ad of an english teaching school. They have chosen to call themselves, "Yuranus". I grew paranoid, grabbed my back, and fled.
Countless more examples exist.
Sometimes it is funny. Some other times, I worry. Have I grown a pervert?

You find your very good friend's name a piece of high TQ joke but can't share it with anyone for the fear of offending them. Your nose itches, your tongue rolls. But you hold yourself back.
A serious meeting is on, and you cough and excuse yourself because you recently heard the boss say, "but ek hi to hai". You gift him a "moov", he fires you.
You can't direct your friend to Brabourne stadium, so you struggle to find other landmarks nearby. She falls in love with another guy in the meanwhile.

Enough. I rebel.

Likeminded people, let us unite.
Let us not be afraid of laughing. Mind your manners, but don't mind the joke. Let it out.